1. When you have a big day coming up (e.g. job interview, big test, date, etc.) you play out several worst-case scenarios — some ridiculous, some feasible. You’re not trying to be negative, but your brain is preparing you for the infinite ways things can go awry.
2. That dreaded moment when one of the outlandish, ridiculous worst-case scenarios you were worried about actually happens in real life. Now you’re convinced that your paranoid ways are justified, because if one worry can come true, aren’t all of them valid?
3. Panicking when you’re up next to order in a drive-thru or at a restaurant because you’re losing the battle to a menu. Indecision + being pressed for time = flustered decisions. Sometimes you even order a meal you didn’t particularly want because pressure.
4. When you’ve got things to get done, you prefer to devise a super detailed plan of attack, which often takes more time than the duty itself to complete.
5. Trying on, and promptly taking off several different outfits before settling on the one you were wearing in the first place. Salt in the wound is the refolding and hanging you have to do afterwards.
6. Being labeled an unconfident person because many folks don’t understand the difference between neurotic, rapid-fire thinkers and flat-out insecure people.
7. Trying to fall asleep at a reasonable time, but being held hostage by an active brain that spews thought after thought. Sad thoughts, scary thoughts, philosophical thoughts, hypothetical thoughts, cringeworthy thoughts, thoughts about how many thoughts are being thought, ALL OF THE THOUGHTS.
8. Having people question your whereabouts after extended absences, because you’re dedicated to and focused on resolving a particular problem or perfecting something. It’s almost out of your control, because you wouldn’t be able to think about anything else if you left the matter in hand unsolved or somewhat flawed.
9. Driving yourself crazy when trying to engage in the early stages of modern dating, because impersonal text messages that could be interpreted many different ways are your sanity’s kryptonite.
10. Being “alone” in a room but feeling skeptical and suspicious that there are hidden cameras somewhere. Not in an egotistical “the world revolves around me” type way, but you feel like there’s a microscopic chance that your life is The Truman Show and your actions are being recorded 24-7, 365.
11. Having an intense dream and trying to get to the bottom of it, because surely it was a sign, or warning, or prophecy, or ANYTHING more divine and unexplainable than too much sugar before bedtime, or just one of those active imagination nights.
12. Struggling to accept compliments. Most folks say “Aw, thanks,” but not you. You’ve got to decipher it and figure out if it was genuine or sarcasm and how exactly to interpret those “kind” words.
13. Briefly considering Googling your symptoms, before recalling past experience, which has proven that absolutely no good whatsoever can come of it. Your baseless self-diagnosing is bad enough as it is, without WebMD triggering extra terror.
14. Thinking about death is the absolute worst because it’s 100% guaranteed, you just don’t know the details. When will it happen? How will it happen? Will a seemingly insignificant decision made tomorrow be the cause of it? Who would go to your funeral? Who would get your laptop? Will they find a way to access your stuff? You can only hope not, because I’m sure there are some folders with questionable content and a peculiar web history.
15. Being hesitant to post on social media because what if it gets no likes or retweets or comments and everybody thinks it was stupid? That being said, don’t feel reluctant to share this particular pos. If you do, people will like it and thank you for passing it along and compliment you for discovering it and you’ll get to spending time speculating if those compliments are genuine or sarcastic.