20 Things To Do On Your Saturday Night In

1. Throw on your comfy, reliable, bleach splatter stained, holey sweatpants and wear them for the duration of the night.

2. Buy a cheap wine that you haven’t tasted before. $6 spending limit.

3. Listen to all of your voicemails and clean out your inbox.

4. Go on Netflix and watch a TV series called Sliders. It’s from the 90s and if you get past the cheesy special effects, you will be rewarded with the most underrated sci-fi series ever.

5. Solo dance party. Bump that LMFAO, play those Motown jams – whatever you’re feeling. At home there’s a lot less body heat and crap-ass DJing which makes for a better time.

6. Do some online shopping. Not only is it enjoyable now, but you’ll have plenty to look forward to in the mail this week.

7. Sleep. I mean, when will there really be an opportunity to do so in the near future? Take advantage of the spare time.

8. Binge Youtube-ing. You know those lengthy video-browsing sessions you have when you’re supposed to be working? Well you’re not on the clock right now, watch whatever the hell you want for as long as you want.

9. Make a vision board or list of goals for the next month so you begin the week feeling ambitious and determined.

10. Rearrange your place. It’s odd but amazing how different and refreshing it feels to switch furniture around a bit and changing the angle of your couch leaves you with a feeling of accomplishment.

11. Start reading a new book. (Consider The Alchemist. It’s uplifting and a super quick read.)

12. Go through your old yearbooks and reminisce. Surely you’ll see someone who, in 8^th grade, had all the makings of a good-looking adult. Don’t be afraid to do a little Google/Facebook search for that special someone. Also, don’t be surprised when they’re not what you expected.

13. Cook yourself an epic, large meal. If you suck, take your time and follow instructions carefully. If you really suck, Stouffer’s is the best quality frozen dinner out there.

14. Add to your music collection and fix the song artist/title listings. There’s nothing more frustrating then not being able to locate Dancing Queen by ABBA in iTunes when you really want to hear it.

15. Indulge in some celebrity gossip. I know we’re not supposed to give a sh-t about Kim and Kanye canoodling, Amanda Bynes hitting non-moving objects with her car, Zac Efron getting Starbucks or whatever else is being talked about, but tonight, why not have at it? Read about and watch other regular ass human beings get scrutinized by a bunch of stalker-ish media outlets with the reliability of a 6th grade gossiper.

16. Make yourself a cookie a-la-mode. If I, burner of grilled cheese sandwiches and constant kitchen fire hazard can do it, so can you. Just clump a bunch of precut cookie dough together to make one big ass cookie, then immediately put a few scoops of your favorite ice cream on top. Warm cookie + cold, melting ice cream = bees knees. Thank me later. Actually thank me sooner than later because your stomach will probably pay dearly for eating this. It’s worth it dough.

17. Search for your next Halloween costume. Someone once said, “If you stay ready, you don’t have to get ready.” I feel like that kind of, sort of applies here. Be ahead of the game, it’s never too early to brainstorm and scout potential Halloween 2013 ideas.

18. Not have to spend a bank breaking, cringe worthy amount of cash on cab fare, cover charges, booze, sober up food, etc.

19. Call your parents. (Because surely they were responsible for a large portion of those voicemails you deleted.)

20. Get hammered by yourself and write inappropriate Facebook messages to a crush. Stuff that you’ll completely regret mañana. It delivers the same poor decision making effect as going out in public does, minus actually having to interact with people if you actually leave your home. Wow, that got dark real quick.