20 Truths About Outcasts That People Need To Understand

People in the status quo make their own rules yet hold everyone else to higher standards.

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1. Joining clubs will not help some one fit in. The idea sounds logical. But it isn’t. People don’t realize that joining a club would do more harm then good for an outcast if the person feels ignored /invisible to begin with.

2. College is not different from high school. It really is true. People look at college as some magical new beginning but it isn’t. College is just another substitute for the hell that high school was.

3. People are still in cliques in college. It would be nice if people outgrew cliques in college but they don’t. The same people that were popular in high school are popular in college.

4. Popular people crowd out everyone else. This point builds off the last point. The term “popular” is subjective. However, that does not change the fact that the people who are “popular” crowd out everyone else because they get the most attention. And that isn’t fair. But just because the mantra “life isn’t fair” holds truth, does not make that okay.

5. Not everyone is invited to parties. The idea is also connected to the concept of popularity in college. Not everyone is included when it comes to parties. Only the people that seem to “know” about the parties go. That is hardly just since that just encourages the same old status quo that happened in high school.

6. Eating alone or bringing cafeteria food back to your dorm is a coping mechanism. In high school, you can’t really bring food back to your dorm. If you don’t have anyone to eat lunch with you can either eat at a table all alone or you can eat in an empty hallway. In college a person can definitely bring food back to their dorm if they have no one to eat with it. It certainly saves some humiliation.

7. Outcasts do not bring their problems on themselves. People want to pretend that if a person has no friends that it is a person’s fault. But it isn’t. Feeling invisible and insignificant is something that no person should ever feel.

8. Having a better attitude is no guarantee. The idea sounds good in theory! And a positive attitude might even help a person go through life in a general sense but it isn’t some magical cure all for problems.

9. People are not really as open minded as they pretend to be. It is unfortunate. A lot of people seem to tout a no judgment policy but the cold harsh truth is that people make judgments everyday. And it is not necessarily a person’s fault if a judgment is made against them. It just happens.

10. Friends ditch their friends. It sounds daunting and cruel. But it happens all the time. People and dynamics change and suddenly a person could lose friends. Some friends trade up or ditched old friends. It is disgusting. It is one thing to say that people make new friends. But there is nothing wrong with keeping in touch with old friends.

11. People are not dolls. People in high school and college don’t always act kind. That is wrong. A person might think the golden rule is naïve, but it exists for a reason. People are mistreated all the time and deserve better. Life really should be more than a game.

12. The majority of people just don’t understand. This is the most tragic of the twenty points. No one seems to understand that people in high school and college slip through the cracks through no fault of their own. They just seem oblivious, as if the idea could never happen.

13. People are not always grounded in reality. It reinforces the previous issue. The fact that people are oblivious shows that people do not always have a grip on reality because they are living in their own little bubble.

14. Spending prom night alone is not something that is fun. It would be foolish to make an absolute statement about misfits not going to prom. But the chances are if a person doesn’t have any friends then there is really no point in going to prom. There is no appeal in going “alone”. It just reinforces the feeling of isolation.

15. Popular people only talk to you when they want something. Not every popular person forgets to bring a pen or pencil to class in high school, but the chances are if that happens then there is the rare chance of a popular person talking to an outsider since an outsider might be more prepared for class, and thus more likely to have a pen or pencil.

16. Snobbery doesn’t only exist on Gossip GirlThe TV show Gossip Girl might be fiction, but it echoes the idea of snobbery, because if a person is like Dan Humphrey then there is a chance of being ignored. Only people that fit certain characteristics such as rich or athleticism get attention. It’s true. A high school or college doesn’t have to have copious wealth to be snobby.

17. People in the status quo make their own rules yet hold everyone else to higher standards. This also applies to life in general. It is sad though. People who belong in the status quo get a lot of opportunities or seem to have doors magically opened for them while other people are at a disadvantage. It’s another notion that’s disgusting.

18. Not all popular people are mean. A one size fits all attitude is naïve and wrong. Some people who are popular in high school and college might have a shred of redemption. But that still doesn’t change the fact that they are still part of the same oppressive system. In some ways a popular person who has a shred of redemption could be viewed negatively since they remain silent.

19. Being ignored is also just as real of a problem as being bullied. Bullying is a serious issue and can even be a threat to a person’s safety. But bullying seems to crowd out the issue of people who are blatantly ignored in high school and college. That is a serious problem. Nobody should be cast aside and ignored.

20. High school and college is literal hell for some people. If you have learned nothing else from the piece realize that high school and college is not easy for a lot of people. Some people actually struggle to fit in or don’t fit at all. It would be silly to say everyone should reach out to one person who has no friends. But the idea that the person you see eating food in the cafeteria all alone might be suffering exists. Thought Catalog Logo Mark


About the author

Chris Bedell

Chris Bedell’s previous publishing credits include essays on Thought Catalog, short stories on Crab Fat Literary Magazine, Short-story.me, Quail Bell Magazine, Pidgeonholes Magazine, Abbreviate Journal, creative nonfiction personal essays on Inklette Magazine, Sprout Magazine, and Entropy Magazine.

Pivot Now

Maybe you don’t need to find more energy, maybe you just need to find a dream that makes you actually want to get up in the morning.

Maybe you need to find something that gives back more than it takes. Maybe you need to stop trying to be good at the hundred things that do not light up your soul, and finally choose the one that does— the one that asks you to risk, to lay your heart bare, to try again, even though you’re scared. You’re not failing because you’re not motivated. You’re not supposed to get far on a path that was never yours to walk.

Quote from Brianna Wiest’s newest book, The Pivot Year, published by Thought Catalog Books.