23 Men Who Thought They Weren’t The ‘Marrying Type’ On What Made Them Want To Propose


1. “I loved women and I didn’t want to settle down. I resisted dating my wife for two years because I knew she would change my mind. She was brilliant and outgoing and called me on my shit. We became friends and my energy for wanting to see other women petered out. I was happiest when I was with her so I finally asked her out. She said yes and sure enough, a year later my mind had been made up the other way: I couldn’t live with out her and proposed on our anniversary.”

2. “I grew up. I was always saying I would never get married before 40 and how stupid it was when guys ‘threw their lives away’ in my early 20’s. By my late 20’s I kind of saw how life would be better when you had someone else around to enjoy it with. Then I fell in love with someone who didn’t make commitment feel like a chore. We have fun every day together, my life is better than when I was single.”

3. “We split up because she was pressuring me to get engaged which pissed me off. I wasn’t ready and I resented the pressure. I was kind of relieved when we ended up breaking up because I could go back to my single life and have freedom. But it turns out that freedom is fucking awful. Freedom means no one cares about what you are doing and no one is there to tell when you have good news. I was lonely and suddenly my source of emotional support and physical connection was gone. That’s when I got serious about how lifelong commitment was an actual goal for me.”

4. “I lost my dad and I realized that life is not something I want to go through alone. Not because I’m afraid of being single, but because I genuinely want to choose to be with someone.”

5. “I loved my life until I met a girl who made me feel like my life hadn’t started yet. There was so much more depth to it with her around, more satisfaction, more fulfillment.”

6. “I had a negative view of women in my 20’s. I’d had some bad relationships, been cheated on and taken advantage of. So, I swore I would never get married because at least in all those shitty relationships I wasn’t tied to them legally and financially. Simply put what changed my mind is meeting the most warm-hearted, kind woman who I knew beyond any shadow of a doubt was not capable of hurting me the way I’d been hurt in the past.”

7. “My parents got divorced when I was 11 and it was nasty. I was a sad kid always in the middle of them fighting over me and I grew up thinking that’s what relationships were like. You were happy and in love and then you hated each other’s guts. What changed was meeting someone who was worth the risk that I might hate her guts one day, and who makes me believe that won’t happen.”

8. “My now wife and I were dating and she wanted to get married and I didn’t. I didn’t see why anything had to change when we were so happy with things as they were. Finally she made me realize that even though I kept saying “what’s the big deal” about a “piece of paper” — my argument worked the other way too. If it wasn’t a big deal, why was I so resistant? I took some time and worked through some stuff about growing up in a house where my parents fought all the time and realized we weren’t the same couple. That didn’t have to be us.”

9. “I found out I got into an extremely difficult program in my industry. I was more excited than I’d ever been in my entire life but I had no one to tell or go out with to celebrate. I realized I wanted that and kind of changed my tune even though I was single at the time. I guess it was a natural part of growing older, even though I felt so set in my ways previously.”

10. “She stuck up for me when my parents were doing their usual thing of telling me how much better my life would be if I was a doctor or lawyer and had a steady income instead of being a commercial artist who can make a living off my work — but has to chase down payments and go through lean times occasionally. This had become such a routine I was only barely paying attention but my girlfriend went to the mats for me and my business. It clicked in my mind that I no longer viewed her as a separate person with separate interests, but as part of my team. Why not make it official?”

11. “I met her when I was at my absolute worst, and she saw the best in me. All my negative feelings about marriage were put at ease because we were already experiencing them at the beginning of our relationship — I had no money, I was going through family shit, my life was not pretty.”

12. “I just realized that every time I saw her I was happier than the days I didn’t see her. I wasn’t crazy about the idea of marriage and paying for a wedding, but it was worth it to keep her.”

13. “If I would have known that a relationship could be easy I never would have been weary about marriage to begin with. After four years together the luster hadn’t worn off, so I made the decision that marriage was a pretty safe bet. Luckily, I was right, we’re happier than ever.”

14. “Even though I’d warned her I never wanted to get married and she warned me that she did we stayed together. It was this stalemate but she wore me down. I realized that I could no longer imagine my future without her and more importantly, I didn’t want to. I married her because I didn’t want to lose her.”

15. “She broke up with me because she was ready to take the next step and it wasn’t something I ever wanted. When she was gone I had a lot of clarity about how much better she made my life. I proposed a week after we got back together.”

16. “When I told her that I wasn’t ready for marriage I expected her to be hurt, upset, and probably pretty pissed off. But she was loving and supportive to me when I explained my fears. That conversation about not wanting to get married was actually what convinced I wanted to marry her.”

17. “I didn’t want to get married for the simple reason that I had not ever seen a relationship I was jealous of once I got up close. My parents and everyone in my family had shitty relationships. My friends that got married were happy at the time but after awhile I’d be spending time at their house and witness their awful fights, or just get sick of them venting to me about it. I just thought all relationships eventually got shitty. Then I started dating a girl and things never fall apart. When we had a disagreement she was respectful and kept emotion out of it for the most part, she never stopped being upbeat and supportive. I came to feel that we could make it and be the elusive happy couple I hadn’t found yet.”

18. “I met a girl who was so much better than anyone else that I’ve ever dated that when she gave me an ultimatum, I was happy to give in. It wasn’t worth losing her.”

19. “When I said I never wanted to get married I was just young. I didn’t understand that the logistics of spending your life with someone and having kids pretty much make marriage an appealing part of the equation. I grew out of it.”

20. “I wasn’t “against” marriage so much as I was on the fence about it. It wasn’t a goal I had for my life and I was just fine if it didn’t happen. Then I was dating a girl and suddenly I realized I would be devastated if we weren’t together, so I proposed.”

21. “People change. Having a partner was a not a priority at all in my 20’s, I loved being single and free and meeting new people. As I got older my values shifted, I liked having a smaller circle of close friends and I started to see that having a wife was something I wanted, so I started dating seriously.”

22. “I met someone who I could trust completely, who supports me every day, I knew without a doubt she was the person I would want to be with forever. She cancelled out all my fears about marriage.”

23. “The girl. I said all of that before I met the right girl.” Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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