17 Men On What They Thought Was Physically Attractive In Their 20’s Vs. In Their 30’s

One of the biggest worries I had about growing up was the way dating was supposed to change from fun and easy to ??? something harder. But there’s actually a huge relief to dating more mature people, and what I look for has totally changed, I assumed this must be experienced by both genders. Over on r/AskMen guys talked about how what they seek out has changed over time.


1. I aim higher

“My standards have gone up a little from high school and early college, as I’ve realized that being with someone you’re not really that interested in isn’t a good situation for either person.

Other than that, I try to avoid having an idea of an “ideal mate,” because that way I’ll be pleasantly surprised when I finally meet her.”

2. I went from extroverts to introverts

“When I was younger (teenage), I was very shy and reserved. I exclusively dated quite extroverted girls, and it was always good.

In my twenties, I came out of my shell and became quite an extroverted person; now, I find I’m only attracted to quiet, shy girls.

Bit of a ying yang situation, attracted to my opposite.”

3. I started caring about personality

“When I was younger, I didn’t care about personality at all. Now I understand it’s the most important component of a happy relationship.

My ideal girl is smart, confident, considerate of others, and has some sort of plan for her life. I’m incredibly lucky that my girlfriend fits this description.

As for looks, I’ve always had a thing for cute brunettes with wavy hair and good posture. That said, I couldn’t care less about my partner’s hair color, ethnicity, or bust size as long as she’s attractive to me. It’s the whole package that counts, and a small number of variables do not accurately define that package. Hot girls be hot.”

4. I started to value enthusiasm more

“Ideally, I really like enthusiasm for life more than anything. Nothing is more attractive than someone who has a thirst for life and adventurous curiosity. Obviously looks are a factor and varies from person to person but in the long run, I don’t need someone to love all the same things I do. I just need someone who loves living life as much as I do.”

5. My tastes have stayed the same

“When I was younger I was attracted to pretty petite younger girls (late teens to mid twenties) with bubbly personalities and a positive life attitude. Nothing has changed.”

6. I started finding more women attractive

“When I was younger, I wanted interesting. Interesting looks, ideas, character. As I’ve grown older, interesting is less interesting especially when it means broken.

Regarding appearance, I used to be “Any chick that will pay attention to me is attractive, but what I really like is…..” With age that’s become “Most girls are really attractive in their own unique ways, but what turns me off is….”

I married to an interesting, attractive redhead with great boobs that enjoys sex as much or more as I do. Some days she’s more “interesting” than I’d prefer. Now I find that the more a chick looks like my wife, the more attractive she is.”

7. I value personality more, even if looks are still important

“The value I place on personality has greatly increased, relative to physical attraction. For instance, it is important that my ideal woman, as a hetero man, is playful and less-critical-natured. As far as physical features are concerned, I am more open to other races/ethnic backgrounds outside of my own, however, I maintain a certain demand of relative attractiveness. At 37, if I can make it to the gym and keep myself in shape, it’s reasonable to expect that of a potential partner. Looks are still number 1.”

8. Intelligence is the main thing now

“Intelligent is the main thing now, whereas before it wasn’t a straight up requirement. So when my girlfriend came down the stairs in pajamas and messy hair all excited that LIGO confirmed gravitational waves, it was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen – also watching the SpaceX launch last year.

Looks-wise, my main requirement is thin (being skinny myself), other than that, either I’m fair game or it’s really hard to describe attraction or lack of it. But there’s certain things I still particularly like such as curly hair.

It used to be that I greatly favored taller stature and fair skin, but as I got older my tastes became a lot more diverse. One thing that hasn’t changed is that smirks are my all-time weak spot. Dormer Smirk.

Getting into the territory of quirks, I’ve always thought seeing someone concentrate on something is really sexy.

I love how my girlfriend’s hair falls mostly on one side of her head, which kind of makes it look like a mane. Also, she sometimes snort-laughs and then blushes afterwards.

And I just love when someone couldn’t care less about what they’re wearing – even if it looks bad – the sheer defiance makes it sexy. I guess my quirk preferences didn’t change from back then, I just added more to the list.”

9. I’m less specific with what I want

“I’m less obsessed with huge tits and have accepted that I’m not gonna get a redhead.

Otherwise smart, well grounded, a complete sex fiend for me and my dick, pretty, a nice body, kind, patient, able to be silly with me, and not prone to buying into societal bullshit have largely remained the same.

10. I look for oral hygiene

“I really just like someone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously, and someone I can get along with well. I don’t care whether or not we have the same interests, as I find that when your with someone who has different interests it helps you try new things which is fun. looks wise besides basic things like personal hygiene, the only real thing that I look for is someone who takes care of their fucking mouth. so many people my age (18-early twenties) don’t give a fuck about brushing their teeth and it’s honestly disgusting to me. (although this comes from someone who flosses 2x a day so I might be an outlier). also I like the less is more approach some women take to makeup.”

11. Someone who accepts me

“Ideally Some one who is kind and genuine. Adventurous but willing to cuddle. Not self-obsorbed or obsessed with always looking perfect. Cute, not hot, Petite, good butt, small boobs, brunette preferably. Someone who accepts me for me is the most attractive.”

12. I like normal women, vs “model” women

“At 25, I find that I’m attracted to “normal” women. Looks don’t really factor into my attraction to a particular woman except maybe a pretty smile or beautiful eyes. Rather, I’m attracted to maturity, intelligence, but also a thirst or ambition to make the most out of their life.

When I was younger, I was really into the type of pretty girls you’d only meet in movies or something.”

13. Everything but character is negotiable

“When I was younger my ‘ideal’ was the typical shallow stuff you would expect: mostly based around physical attraction with a tiny bit of personality stuff sprinkled in so you do not feel like a complete asshole.

Now that I am older I have come to realize that the only things that truly matter are: her character (ethics/morals), shared goals (career, family, relationship, etc), and her commitment to being the best version of herself she can be.

Everything else is negotiable.”

14. I’m more insecure now

“Looks -> must be average looking, somewhere around a 5/10. Ideally shorter than me with black hair. Average to slightly overweight.

Personality -> must be a homebody. Doesn’t like parties. Fan of games and ideally a gamer.

When I was younger I didn’t really care, I was just excited to be with any girl. Now I am more insecure and I can’t date someone who I think is out of my league. Additionally, I care very much about if they are a gamer because I enjoy playing games a lot and would hate it if I was in a relationship where my GF didn’t like to play with me.”

15. I care less about looks

“I’ve learned from past relationships that I require someone who is ambitious and leads a full life of their own. I am successful and independent, and it is very important to me that I am able to lead my own life. At the same time I want someone that does not depend on me and my life for their happiness. That way, when we do share our lives with each other it is a happy reward, rather than an obligation.

When I was younger, all I cared about was looks. It is still important that I am attracted to a woman I would share my life with, but I’ve learned that attraction is more than just a physical thing.”

16. I know what I want

“I’m less sympathetic to someone who doesn’t have their shit together. And no games.”

17. I want a good problem solver

“For my taste in women, looks are of middling importance. Personality is really important – not just when things are good, but especially when things are bad.

I usually sum it up as asking “Is she a good problem solver with me?” When the shit hits the fan, will she be standing beside me, shoveling it out? Or is she going to stand there sobbing and add to my burden? Or does she just check out for the day and go shopping with her friends?”

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