Thought Catalog

17 Men On The Little Things They Do When They Think They’ve Found Their ‘Forever’ Girl

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1. “I put effort in. I do little chores for her because I love her. I work at making her friends and parents like me because I know they’re going to be a part of my life for a long time. I treat her like someone I love.” — Kevin, 27

2.Sex became totally different. Before I met my current girl I was concerned about getting a girl off and stuff, but it was for selfish reasons — I wanted them to come back for more. Now I focus on her pleasure because I really genuinely want her to be feeling good. It almost gets me off, just focusing on her.” — Aaron, 29

3. “I just noticed myself behaving differently, it wasn’t even really intentional. I got concerned about her feelings. I wanted to answer her text messages faster or be more forthcoming in my communication so that she would feel good about us.” — Alex, 27

4. “I have a lot of anxiety about money and I’m obsessed with building a future for myself. I used to protect that information from girls because I didn’t want to attract a gold-digger or someone who would want to spend the money frivolously. When I told my now-wife I realized it was because wanted her to know we had a safe future together was more important than me feeling like I was set.” — Stephen, 29

5. “I go out of my way for her. With girls I haven’t seen a future with, I’m selfish. I pick the movies and the restaurants I want, I see them when it works with my schedule. But I know I really see a future with someone when I become more selfless, when I don’t care that I’m doing something because someone else wants to and I still enjoy myself.” — Jason, 28

6. “I was raised in a very stoic family and cried maybe one time in my adult life. I don’t like emotional things or being vulnerable in front of anyone. But I knew when I had the desire to express my doubts to a girl I was dating that I really liked her. I knew she’d be supportive and not thing it was weird or gross that I wasn’t being an alpha male at all times.” – Morgan, 29

7. “I introduce her to my friends and family, and go out of my way to make sure she fits in.” — Andy, 22

8. “Sex wise, I have more patience. With girls I’m only somewhat into I become this guy who wants to try all these crazy things. I want to get through this bucket list while we’re still hot and heavy. With a girl I see a future with, there isn’t that rush. I want to enjoy all the stages of our sex life while we’re going through them.” — Ben, 27

9. “I guess a big difference is making plans for the future. When I’m unsure about someone, I get claustrophobic about making future plans. I like the freedom of knowing I could leave the relationship if things got bad. But when I got serious about my wife, I started planning holidays and talking about what we’d do for my sibling’s (who were not engaged) weddings.” — Jonathan, 24

10. “I knew I saw “forever” with my wife when I started talking to her about kids. It wasn’t a serious conversation for a long time but we started saying little things about what our kids would be like or what kind of parents we wanted to be.” — Jim, 32

11. “I treat her like she’s an extension of myself. I make sure her car is in good shape, I get angry when her boss mistreats her — I feel like if something bad happens to her, it happens to me too. We became a team and her wins are my wins and her losses are mine too.” — James, 28

12. “I do things for her because I love her, not because I might get sex out of it later.” — Peter, 20

13. “With other girls I might be critical of what they look like, if I thought they’d be hotter with longer hair, etc. With my wife, I’m critical of things that might hurt our life together in the long-term: her spending habits, eating too much junk food — because I want her to be healthy, not because I need her to be on a diet. It’s also more of a relaxed judgement. Even with the things I wish she would change, I still love and accept her as a whole.” — John, 35

14. “I ask her for help.” — Mike, 23

15. “Little things like bringing her coffee in the morning, or going out of my way to get takeout I know she really likes when I know she’s had a long day. It makes me happy to do sweet little things for her in a way I haven’t felt in any past relationships.” — Brad, 30

16. “I invest financially in our long term future. It’s a boring answer, but it’s certainly a stark difference and something I’d never do for someone I wasn’t planning on spending “forever” with.” — Mark, 33

17. “I have the privilege of family money while my wife was raised in a family that was always struggling in that area. I was always cautious about women using me for my money, but I’ve had to teach my wife about all these ways to upgrade her life she was totally in the dark about. And I get joy from that instead of feeling like I’m being taken for a ride. I love seeing all the concrete ways her life is better because I’m in it.” — Justin, 25 TC mark

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