According to the best-selling book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts there are five different ways in which people like to give and receive affection towards their loved ones. Problems arise in relationships when we don’t realize that people have these different ways of giving love. One person may feel unloved if their partner doesn’t tell them explicitly about their feelings every day while another could never hear “I love you” but be totally blissful as long as they spend hours together watching Netflix every week. If you or your partner’s love language is quality time, here are some things to keep in mind.
1. They put their phone away. Is there any more powerful “I love you” in this era than someone putting their phone away to give you their undivided attention? Your partner not only wants to hang out with you often, they want to make sure that your time together feels high-quality. This means they are willing to go distraction-free and focus their energy on you.
2. They invite you to run errands together. With a quality time person, a boring trip to the grocery store can be an opportunity to grow closer as a couple. They love you so much, the simple existence of your presence makes anything they have to do more enjoyable.
3. They’ll want to hang out even if it’s not a fancy “date”. It’s totally fun for them to be around you when you’re playing video games or reading a book or working (disclaimer: as long as you also have set times where you *are* paying purposeful attention to just them). Chilling out together is fun, they are excited to be a part of your casual, every day life.
4. They’ll call you on the phone. It’s not always possible to be physically present with another person and talking on the phone feels a hell of a lot more like quality time than texting does.
5. They bring you lunch. A quality time is happy to make time to visit you when you’re busy. They’ll sneak it in by bringing you lunch or driving you to work, or planning a short coffee date to reconnect when you’ve both been running around too much.
6. They make time for you, no matter what. We generally love people how we wish they would love us. Your quality time person will be there for you, regardless of how swamped they are at work or whatever else is going on in their life. They will make plans with you because plans with you is their priority.
7. They look you in the eyes when you’re talking. You are the focus.
8. They don’t interrupt when you are speaking. This is love, people.
9. They seem to remember everything you tell them. Crazy what happens when someone is really paying attention when you talk.
10. They’re guarded about hanging out with your friends too much. Quality time means that the two of you are bonding — not the two of you and five of your closest friends. Group dates are fun, but remember that your partner wants time with just you, too.
11. They plan elaborate dates. Quality time people LOVE a good Netflix and chill, but they also like to have adventures and experience new things as a couple. Things like cooking together, exploring a museum or going to a festival in your town create memories they will treasure forever.