I wear flip-flops, leggings and a tank top 7 days a week and I love how low-maintenance and easy it is. I feel comfortable in my style. I feel good in my style.
I know heels make your legs look awesome and they make every outfit look more put-together. I know men find them sexy and the represent the kind of Glamazon that’s every man’s fantasy. But I don’t care. I’m happy looking at my feet and thinking that I could be on my way to the beach.
Following celebrity gossip
We police women’s hobbies in a way we never do with the things men are into. What exactly is the difference between following celebrity gossip and following a sport? Neither of them are exactly rocket science. Both can be relaxing hobbies an otherwise smart individual can indulge in when they need a brain vacation, yet we only vilify one of them as vacuous and a waste of time. Hint: all hobbies are a waste of time, that is the entire point of a hobby, to waste time.
Buying expensive makeup
Men don’t like women who wear too much makeup. Men like “the natural look.” Guess what? The primary reason I wear makeup isn’t to get your dick hard.
When I don’t wear makeup, I do it because that’s what I feel like doing that day. When I wear a lot of makeup, that’s also what I feel like doing. I love buying nice products and trying them out or just playing around with them. It’s called a hobby and no one thinks it’s “shallow” or “trying too hard” when men spend money on their hobbies. It takes a special level of narcissism to think women buy a $40 blush to please you.
Men want you to want to have sex with them all the time. They want you to be open and experiment and try new things with them. But they don’t want you to have ever done this with anyone else. They basically want you to be this prude who turns into a huge slut the minute you meet them. Guess what? That’s not how life works!
People don’t undergo drastic personality changes when they meet you, that’s actually creepy. And like, a reason to call a mental health professional. It’s “unsexy” to have a normal human sex drive that doesn’t revolve around your current man, and that’s bleak as hell.
Only cooking “girl food”
I know it’s really attractive to think about getting a wife who can cook for you in the fatty (but DELICIOUS, I’ll admit it), not nutrient-dense style of The Pioneer Woman, but the truth is I feel like shit when I eat like this. I love vegetables and rice and avocados for every meal. I started eating kale because it’s a food trend. I do this really hateable thing where I buy gluten-free products even though I don’t have a gluten intolerance. My fridge screams “not wife material!”
The truth is I would love to be the girl who only eats burgers and pizza and beer because she’s just so chill and cool — but that’s not me.
I love a high pony or a messy top knot. It’s comfortable and feminine and utilitarian. Yes I’d look sexier with my hair down, but surprisingly “looking sexy” isn’t the only or most important factor in my decision-making process.
If men can swear and not be unmasculine, women can swear without being unladylike. The people who have a problem with women swearing are the people who think women should be passive and submissive. Those aren’t the kind of people I aim to please.
Is there anything as depressing as pretending to be dumber than you are in order to not intimidate a guy? (No).
If a man is intimidated by a woman actually knowing her shit, it’s because he’s insecure and instead of realizing that is his problem to overcome, he expects people to lie to him so he can feel powerful. That is not a man worth chasing.
Unapologetically loving my career
I work way too much and I love working way too much. I love to work, I love to put effort into things, push, and see results. Before I had a job where I do what I love, I worked and then went home after my 9-5 and wrote all evening. I love immersing myself in my projects and the sad reality is, that’s not cool with a lot of men. They want women to have careers that are less than theirs.
Say whatever you want to say about how we as a culture are narcissistic because we post selfies but I will take this over a culture where people hate themselves any day.
Being bossy, when the situation merits it
I am not a damsel in distress. I don’t let taxi drivers or mechanics take advantage of me because they think I don’t know any better. I don’t allow men on the street to talk to me in a way I don’t want to be talked to.
Baby-talking my puppy
No, it’s not sexy. Yes, it is necessary. If you don’t understand, I hope one day you find something that brings you as much joy as people who love their pets get from that relationship.
When men tell me “drunk women aren’t sexy” I ask them, do you really think women consume alcohol in order to please you? Have you ever had alcohol? Is the idea women do everything they do because they are trying to appeal to men really so pervasive that you can’t conceive of an alternate reason women would partake in an activity men do all the time?
Having totally unscientific beliefs
I go to a “talk about your feelings” yoga class, I read my own tarot cards, I like Scorpios more than Capricorns, I burn sage and cedar when I’m stressed out, I tweet things like “your issues live in your tissues.” I get it, this is not Serious Scientific Thought and it’s not attractive to most men. But what matters to me is what makes me feel happy and healthy, even if it seems strange or flakey or silly to other people.