17 Men Explain Why They Prefer Casual Relationships (And What You Could Do To Change Their Mind)



My thought process is based off my past experiences and relationships. I’m an entrepreneur and work a ton. Most girls I’ve dated did not like that very much. It really is for their own sake. They all say they are cool with it at the beginning but it inevitably becomes an issue.

What would change this?

If a girl had a similar lifestyle to me — if she was focused on career then I could be pretty sure that she wouldn’t get mad at me for spending so much time on work. It might work then.


I only look for casual relationships because I’m movie at the end of the summer.

What would change this?

If I fell in love with a girl and really couldn’t live without her I don’t know… even if we gave it a try and did long-distance, I know it would fail eventually. I don’t want to do that.

Carson, 28

The reason I’m not looking for anything so serious is because I just don’t have time to have a serious relationship so I feel like it’s unfair to the other person involved if I can’t spend a ton of time with them. I work two jobs plus spend time with my kids from my previous relationship. I truly am too busy — but I miss spending time with the opposite sex.

What would change this?

For me it would happen slowly. If I was casually dating someone for a long time and it just worked out well. Then it would become more serious.

Tim, 24

It’s not that I don’t want a relationship… but more that I haven’t found someone serious enough about having one. It’s very rare to find the perfect package.

What would change this?

Finding her!

Dan, 25

I’m just in a rut right now. I just want an outlet. Yes, that sounds shallow and ignores underlying issues, but I like it. I need to focus on what my goals are for the long term. I know that it’s nice to feel needed, and to find someone with whom you can share many things. That doesn’t mean sharing everything, because some things are hard to communicate or verbalize, and just need time to be processed.

What would change this?

I think a girl that can allow a day to pass without a phone call or a text shows a level of confidence and understanding that is too attractive to pass up.


Russ, 19

It’s less about “casual sex” and more about the fact that I own two businesses and am a single dad.

What would change this?

I haven’t met a lady yet who will tolerate a man who puts his kids first when it comes to a relationship…I’m open to suggestions.

Sean, 23

I just got out of the world’s worst marriage. My wife was controlling and angry and I just feel battered down right now. A relationship isn’t appealing because I’m scared to get stuck in another situation like this but I want sex and someone to hang out and have fun with, so a casual relationship is better.

What would change this?

If through the process of casual dating I met someone who was very loving and made me believe a long term relationship could work between two people again, I’d be open to it at that point.

Jeff, 27

Most chics you run into are boring, can’t keep a conversation — which makes it harder to get a connection. And with no connection, I’m definitely not thinking of a relationship.

What would change this?

It would change for the right girl.

Marc, 26

I think this is what most women want too, they just don’t want to come off like a slut, so they use the relationship line. Judging from my past experiences, you know.

What would change this?

Definitely a girl who could keep a meaningful convo via text or email is a plus, show you are looking to start off casual and not pressure a guy into a relationship. Me personally, I like a girl who is submissive, witty, and has positive vibes.

Jay, 28

I’m in a rut right now and I want a release. That sounds shallow, but I like it.

What would change this?

I need to refocus on my long term goals. I know that it’s nice to feel needed, and to find someone with whom you can share many things. I just need time to process my life until I’m ready for this.

Aaron, 22

In the long run, of course I would like to find the right long term relationship. Right now… it’s complicated. I don’t think I’m technically cheating, but I’m not exactly single.

What would change this?

Be yourself, don’t get a chip on your shoulder, and don’t settle.


Rick, 23

It seems hard to get to know a woman nowadays. It seems like every woman has like 20 guys talking to her. I’d love a more serious relationship, I’m open to that, but I don’t know how to meet one.

What would change this?

Give me a chance.

Tom, 31

I got divorced last year and it just doesn’t seem worth the drama to have a serious relationship when I can just have one or two casual ones. It’s cheaper and takes less time and energy. I know I will want to settle down again one day, but not anywhere in the near future. I just want to be free and have fun right now.

What would change this?

Invent a time machine.

Johnny, 25

I want to be rich in the future so I’m putting everything I have into my career right now. I’m literally always working and it’s paying off in some ways, but I know I have a long road ahead of me. It would not be worth it for me right now to step away from the hours I want to spend working towards my future for something that might end up being temporary.

What would change this?

If I was with someone that respected my goals and was okay with being #2 in my life, it might work.

Adam, 24

Most girls my age just want to party. I’m an old soul or something, I think partying is trashy and gross.

What would change this?

I would settle down with a girl who was more of a wife-type woman and less of a party girl.

Landon, 28

Honestly? I’m just lazy. I don’t want a relationship because it’s a lot of pressure and work. Why bother? A casual relationship is good enough for me. I’m pretty low-maintenance and I’m perfectly happy with things the way they are.

What would change this?

I can see changing if a girl was the type to really make me want me to, but I also don’t really see it happening. I like my life the way it is.

Kyle, 27

I don’t know what it is about sex and relationships that most women have a problem with. I practice relationship anarchy because “relationships” tend to be extremely draining and unfulfilled for both parties. It’s a huge cat and mouse game.

What would change this?

I’m not here to be anybody’s Dr. Phil. Let’s talk about what, if anything, the girl has to offer ME casually or in a relationship. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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