It was my job to drag the trash and recycling bins from behind our triplex to the curb on “garbage days.” I had to do this VERY early in the AM because it basically had to happen before I got ready/washed up for school to be out the door by 7 AM.
This particular morning a man was slowly walking up the middle of the road and approached me. As I saw him he stopped, I’d say about ten feet away.
He explained to me that he locked himself out of his house, but he left his bathroom window open. While he was too big to fit, I was the perfect size! All I would need to do is climb through the bathroom window, go to his front door, and let him back in his house.
My mom had a pretty tough 80’s Bronx upbringing so she constantly drilled it into our head to be very wary of practically everyone. I told him I’d be happy to, but first I had to ask my mom. I ran in the house and within 20 seconds she and I were back out front where I encountered this man. He was NOWHERE to be found.
This was in the early 90’s, Jimmy Ryce times so I really can’t help but think every once in a while, “if I went to help that man, would I be chopped up in little pieces and buries under a cement deck.”
I used to keep horses and one summer evening I went down to their field after school to ride one of them. The field is along the side of a quiet country road just on the other side of a small hill.
I was on my own riding the horse around the field when I noticed a car pull up at the side of the road and out gets a middle-aged bald man, dressed like he’d just got off work. Nothing really to worry about, there’s a fence between us, so I carry on.
I see the guy has walked into the long grass by the fence and appears to be peeing, facing me. “Huh, ok that’s weird, could have picked a more private spot.” Carried on riding…
Noticed after a minute or so that it definitely shouldn’t take that long to pee. Then I noticed the hand jerking motion while he’s staring at me on the horse…
So then I yelled that he was fucking sick and needed help. He ran to his car and sped off before I had a chance to look at the registration number.
Because of the hill this field is on, from the direction he was driving, you can’t see the field (or me in it!) until literally 5 seconds before you get to it. So this guy was probably on his way home from work, and in 5 seconds he saw me riding, and decided to pull over his car to get out and masturbate. And then afterwards he probably went home to his wife and kids and ate his dinner. What the fuck…