I buy and flip phones, so I was responding to a S4 for sale. I meet him at the police station and when I look at the phone there are at least 50 texts and missed call from someone asking for their phone back. I’m not too big 6’0″ 160 lbs but this was some scrawny black guy. I tell him it’s not his and I walked into the police station with the phone, guy got arrested for theft, and we returned the phone to the owner. She was so grateful and offered me $50. I just said pass it on. Felt badass for a week.
First of all i live in oakland so this should explain the story. I arranged to meet up with some random guy at a bart station in oakland to sell my ps3. Im waiting at the station and all of a sudden a ghetto black guy pulls up and asks me “yo are you sellin that ps3 dog?” and i just went along and said yes. He told me to follow him to his “house” in order to see if it works. i didnt think much of it so i did. I followed him to east oakland which is one of the most dangerous parts of oakland. We pull up to this beat ass apartment and we both get out and he says “come in.” At this point i was very nervous so i grabbed my knife from my car and followed him in just in case. Once i walk into his house i was shitting my pants and getting ready to run away because what i saw in there where a bunch of hardcore gang members inside sitting around a table that had almost a pound of marijuana and two pistols. I told the guy “look i dont want any trouble” and he told me “its cool, they my niggas.” He asked me to plug in the ps3 to the small tv in the corner. After i plugged it in he was interested in buying it and payed me all in one dollar bills. I know not much happened in this story but what i saw caused me to experience the greatest amount of fear in my life…
Not me, but my wife had advertised a rowing type machine on Craigslist.
So this mid-40’s dude comes over to the house, when I’m at work, to check the machine out. He asks questions about it and tells her he’s not sure how it works, then asks her to show him. So she gets on the machine and starts to basically do a workout demo. He makes things stretch out by continuing to ask her machine and workout related questions as she’s rowing.
He suddenly stops and asks if he can use the restroom. He goes in and stays. And stays. And stays. Suddenly he comes out, and abruptly leaves the house.
Now, of course, my wife knows something’s up, because he was in there so long and left so oddly, but she can’t figure out what he did “weird”. She’s messaging me on the phone as she’s trying to figure it out, and my first thought was my meds. She counts them and it looks like he might have taken some of my xanax, but no big deal, she didn’t get murdered.
Then I get a text series like this:
“OMG I just found my razor”
“was it missing?”
“it has shit on the handle”
“like actual shit?”
“LIKE HE SHOVED MY RAZOR UP HIS ASS”
tl:dr, my wife tried to sell a rowing machine on craigslist, got a dude who pleasured himself in our bathroom instead.