15 Quick, Simple Reasons You’re Still Single (And What To Do About It)

1. You’re still a party girl/frat guy. While some people party their whole lives, most people see growing out of this a “sign” they’ve reached adulthood. If you wanna be fun and crazy for the rest of your life, go for it, but realize you’re going to find someone who is comfortable existing outside of the social norm.

2. You’re looking for anyone, not someone. People can tell when you’re just tired of being single and are super hungry to just be in a relationship. It’s very unflattering to realize the person you’re dating doesn’t care about you, specifically, just that you are a warm body. Make sure you actually care about the people you are dating, or hold out instead of stringing them along.

3. You just have too many cats. Some people have an eccentric hobby or personality trait that they are (somehow) oblivious too. Find someone who will be brutally honest with you, ask, listen, and then decide if it’s worth it to you to change.

4. You’re too clingy. Maybe every time you have a new girl/guy on the horizon you text them to death. Relax and chill. Try to focus your energy elsewhere to give everything a chance to grow naturally. Your friends can probably help you determine the appropriate amount of attention to give a new person.

5. You’re Debbie Downer. Some people try very hard to find a reason to be upset about everything. Are you constantly angry, pessimistic, or offended about something? That’s not going to add pleasure to another person’s life. Decide which is more important to you.

6. You have trust issues. You can guard your heart and not get hurt again, or you can be vulnerable and experience love. You cannot do both, so you have a choice to make.

7. You’re too picky. Try imagining if someone you were interested in was as picky and specific as you were. Do you measure up? Even if you do, it doesn’t feel great. A good trick is to pick two physical things and two personality things that are non-negotiable. Look for them, and commit to being flexible on the rest.

8. You like the bad boy (or girl). When you do something, like date a low life who treats you poorly, and it doesn’t work out, you need to change something up the next time around or you will get the same results. Don’t keep doing the same thing and hoping it will magically be different with this try.

9. You lead with sex. You might be wasting time with people who aren’t interested in anything more than just sex, or alienating people with more conservative attitudes than you. Or you might be having a good time with your singleness. The jury’s out on this one.

10. You’re insecure. Being single means you have more free time. Use it to figure out how to have the life you want, or at least how to be happy with the one you have.

11. You’re uptight. A sense of fun and adventure is universally attractive, being a stick in the mud is not. Practice saying “so what?” a little more often.

12. You don’t make an effort. If you’re not meeting men or women, it’s probably because you’re not trying to meet them, or when you have the opportunity, you don’t talk to them. You know what has to be done, do it.

13. You talk negatively about the opposite gender. When you talk about how “all men suck,” people can hear you (and, you’re internalizing that mantra). Ease up, everyone is human and no one likes being stereotyped.

14. You smell bad. Some adults haven’t figured out the whole hygiene thing, and those that haven’t are usually oblivious to it. Ask a trusted friend.

15. You’re a frumpty dumpty. When you dress like you don’t care, you come off like you don’t care. People want to sign on to someone who’s going to get better with time, not more and more apathetic. Treat life like it’s an event worth caring about, and dressing up for.