Thought Catalog

You’re Allowed To Be Alone

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Love and being alone
Trevor Paterson

One of the biggest problems in this society that we live in, is the pressure we are constantly feeling from everyone in our life that things are supposed to be a certain way. Sometimes, this pressure comes from watching the people around us and what they are doing and putting our own time table on things. We start to think things need to happen by a certain age, and when they don’t, we’ve failed.

But here’s the thing. Everyone has a different story. Each and every one of us has a different path and plan that is going to lead us to the life that we are supposed to have. So what if one of your friends just bought a house, the other is getting married and someone just had a kid? Who cares if people around you are settling down and you are still focused on going out and having a fun time, single?

Nobody, including yourself, gets to put a time table on when things in your life need to happen. The worst thing that we can do to ourselves is start believing that we have failed if things haven’t happened by a certain age that they were “supposed” to. Who made those rules? Because they don’t exist.

It is okay to be alone.

Yes, I said it since so many people won’t. I said it, because it is SO important. Everyone is out there searching for their other half when they so quickly forget that the one place they should be finding happiness is within themselves. We are so quick to jump into the arms of someone that is wrong for us, just because the idea of that is better than being alone.

That is not okay. It is not okay to settle. It is not okay to settle for the person that treats you as anything less than what you deserve. It isn’t fair to settle for someone who doesn’t bring you passion and the “can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t live without them” feeling. The world is so big, full of so many people that we haven’t met yet.

It is okay to wait to find that. You don’t have to go jumping from relationship to relationship until you find the right person. You can genuinely wait, while spending time with yourself until this person walks into your life.

You don’t need someone to complete you.

You don’t need someone else to function and you do not need to be somebody’s everything. You can be all of that for yourself. You can take yourself on dates, buy yourself gifts, take yourself on spontaneous trips and most importantly love yourself.

And in the process of all of this, I promise the right person will come around. It won’t be when you’re searching. It won’t be when you want it. It will be when you least expect it and it will happen in the most beautiful of ways.

And until then, it’s okay to be alone. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. TC mark

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