Breaking up with a toxic person can be a liberating feeling, it allows you to finally break free of the pain that you have been struggling through for the time that you were with this person. It allows you to finally be independent again, and learn to find your own happiness that isn’t reliant on someone else. However, along with all of the beauty that comes from closing this door, attached to it, are also struggles that this persons emotional abuse left on you.
You begin to have trust issues.
How do you learn to trust someone again? How do you let someone in without assuming that every person you bring into your life has the potential to hurt you in the same ways that your ex did? How do you trust that they aren’t going to walk out when things get hard? How can you assume that they aren’t going to make you feel insecure, jealous and worthless?
You are scared.
Along with the lack of trust, you are just plain terrified to let someone in again. You refuse to go through the same feelings of pain and heartbreak again, so the feeling of starting to let someone into your life becomes one of your greatest fears.
The healing process takes longer.
Now this isn’t just a normal breakup. This isn’t the kind of breakup that you can eat ice cream in bed, binge watch romance movies and go out with your girlfriends a few times and feel better. It’s the kind of healing that involves rebuilding yourself and your life. It involves intense work on yourself and figuring out how to heal from the internal damage and pain that this person brought into your life.
You start to find yourself again.
You get to re-learn about yourself. You find out who you are, what you love and what brings you genuine joy and happiness. Loving a toxic person can take a lot out of you. It can take so much from you, that you forget how to love and take care of yourself. Now is the time to take back your own life.
You get stronger.
Your ex took a piece of you that you will never get back. You gave them your all and they completely broke you down and destroyed you to your core. They left you there, bare and uncovered and forced you to find a new version of yourself. As weak as this caused you to be, you are so much stronger for having been through it. You will never be the person you were before this experience, and that is a very good thing.
You learn what you want.
And what you will NEVER tolerate again. What a liberating feeling to know that no person will ever have the power to destroy you or hurt you in the way your ex did again. How amazing to know that you will see these red flags from the beginning and know that this is not the type of person you want to let into your life.
This experience destroyed you, nobody can argue with that. However, this will make you better. This will help you to continue to grow, thrive and create the life for yourself that you have always wanted.