These two traits do not really seem to go hand in hand. It doesn’t really make sense that someone who is strong, resilient and can preserve through almost anything can also be the same person who is lying awake at night feeling bad for different things that happened throughout that day. It leads us to put up a front, one that we don’t let very many people see or understand. It forces us to live almost a double life where it may look as if we are hiding who we actually are.
Things bother us all throughout the day, but we don’t always show it.
We are always worried if someone is mad at us or if we will upset someone by a certain decision that we are making. We constantly feel as though we have let someone down, or have done something to cause someone to be unhappy with us. We have a lot of friends, and will fight for them until the end of time, but that doesn’t mean that things they do don’t hurt us.
We are good at putting on a front when someone does something to upset us.
Words hit us harder than we show. We act tough and carry ourselves as if things don’t bother us. We pretend to let words and comments roll off our back while inside they are hurting us. This forces us to deal with these things on our own and rarely open up about how we are feeling.
We have trouble confronting things that have hurt us.
We are supposed to keep the friend group together. We are the ones that everyone goes to for advice, for support and for someone to be there. How can we be the one to let someone know what he or she did wrong? We are supposed to be the tough one. We are supposed to be the ones that keep everyone else’s lives in order.
We rarely let anyone see us cry, but we do cry when we are alone.
We remain tough when everyone else feeling weak. We are the shoulder to cry on. We are the one that is always there for everyone else. It feels impossible to try and show emotion and cry in front of our friends and loved ones. Sometimes, it feels like we don’t even know how to. But that doesn’t mean we don’t do our own share of crying when we are alone. We just save it for the car or the shower, instead of letting it out in front of other people.
We struggle with letting people in.
It is so hard to let another person into this complicated world that we are living in. We struggle to open up about feelings and emotions and we aren’t good at expressing what we need to say. We put on a front to avoid dealing with conflict and the fear of upsetting others and this makes letting someone new into our lives even more difficult. Often times, it makes things even more difficult when we try to pretend everything is fine when inside it is actually tearing us apart.
We need you to be patient with us.
Not everyone is going to understand the way that we are. (Not right away at least). It is complicated. We are unsure of our own thoughts and feelings ourselves sometimes. Having a friendship or being in a relationship with us may not always be easy but we promise if you are patient, it will be worth it.