Depending on how we grow up and who we grow up with, it can be hard to love ourselves. There are different ways to be loved. We can seek love and acceptance from others instead of ourselves. We can feel like we are loved when we are showing off our best qualities. We can feel loved when the final results reveal our hard work instead of getting recognized for all the hard work that was put in. The problem with all these different ways to feel loved and accepted is that they all come from the outside. They come from others and it’s only ever accepted when they are proud of you. Being loved for your final results and labels instead of your personality and character doesn’t teach you anything about self-love and acceptance.
Many of our insecurities and fears are rooted within us. The inability to fully love ourselves likely comes from rooted insecurities. We aren’t born with an inability to love ourselves. That is taught and learned throughout time. We don’t just wake up one morning and decide that we aren’t worth it. Either someone or something taught you not to love and accept yourself. Whatever taught you that you shouldn’t love yourself was wrong to do so. People who don’t love themselves don’t know how to love others fully. That can end up being a poisonous cycle that affects the people you’re surrounded by. Our thoughts and feelings are contagious. If we use them the wrong way, it will hurt others. It’s not easy to overcome, especially if you are still in an environment that doesn’t want you to accept and love yourself. Self-acceptance is worth the time you invest in it.
You can take yourself out of the poison, but you can’t take the poison out of you. You have to learn that the poisonous thoughts and people you were surrounded by are still within you in some way. That never just leaves on its own. When you’re sick, you work your way out of being sick. You take medicine and you take care of yourself so that you can get better. It’s the same way with thoughts or feelings that are affecting how we feel about ourselves. Working to take care of some of our rooted insecurities is hard. All of us don’t get enough credit for overcoming all the shit we overcome within ourselves. All the conflicted feelings that dig deep into our emotions that we have to overcome. Unlearning everything we learned that turned out to not be true or really affected our psyche in a negative way.
The people who love and accept themselves when there was a point in their lives where they never envisioned that are the people you want to be around. They will teach you that you are enough. They will teach you that your flaws don’t define you. They will teach you that the weight of self-acceptance is so much lighter than the burden of uncertainty and self-pity. One day you will find the strength to love your whole self. That will be the day when you find out the world hasn’t seen the most dangerous version of you yet.