You’re hurting, that much is true. Something inside of you is broken right now. I know how intensely you feel and so it would be laughable for me to pretend that the deepest parts of your soul aren’t crumbling right now. No, I do not envy your heartbreak nor do I envy your sorrow but, you have to know, you have to remember – You are going to be okay. There is something within you that can take gut-wrenching pain and turn it into magnificence.
Time is going to be both your sworn enemy and your best friend. It will be your enemy for it’s going to crawl. Fuck that, it’s going to slither. Whoever said that life is short clearly hasn’t been heartbroken before because, shit, one minute really does feel like a year and I’m sorry to say that there’s not much you can do about other than sit and wait for it to pass. Eventually, the day will come where your bones no longer ache and your skin no longer itches. That is the day that your sun will rise and everything will become bright again.
Time is the best healer. It’s a cliché for a reason.
Throwing yourself into life is the first step to recovering and healing your kindred spirit. If you can’t do that, then walk and if you can’t walk then crawl. No matter what, you can’t look back, you must keep moving forward.
This is going to hurt you no matter what and there are only so many pills you can pop and shots you can guzzle before you end up drowning yourself. This broken heart doesn’t have to kill you. You are going to have to recover and get over this, whether you like it or not, you have to refuse to let this break you.
Having contact will only make things worse. Cut it. Cut it right now. I know that you’re wanting closure but, who are you kidding? You know the answers to your questions, your curiosity is an excuse for conversation. That is not healthy. You are the only person that needs to be important to you right now. Healing yourself is going to take all of your energy up, energy that is worthwhile when spent on caring for yourself thus wasted when spent on scratching at an open wound. That’s not what’s going on here. This isn’t a game; this is you, patching yourself up.
What do I know? I know that the morning is the worst part of your day whilst the evening is the best part. The morning is the worst part as the second it hits you that he’s really gone, you’re going to feel like you’re being stabbed in the heart. The day is spent recovering from the initial blow until eventually, evening falls with darkness cascading over your world with the reality hitting that you’ve survived yet another day. The next thing I know is that with each morning, the pain slowly diminishes. You are going to have no appetite at all, this is going to make you feel hollow and empty but, for the love of god, you won’t even be able to stomach a mouthful – This too shall pass.
This pain that you’re feeling, it will go. I promise you. I know that right now this feels like the end of the world and that’s okay too. If that’s how you feel then accept it and deal with it but, whatever you do. Do not give up. Please.
Don’t forget who you are. There is a fire in your heart and iron in your veins. You are unbreakable. He does not have the power to burn your body to ash and your soul to smoke, you are doing that to yourself. You were never meant to keep fuelling his fire. Stop letting him burn you.
No matter what you’re feeling about this person and what you had, logically you need to know that something wasn’t right which is why it’s come to an end. That is no reflection on you as a person, it does not make you insignificant or unworthy. It is okay for you to not be right for a person and honestly, I am so glad that you are no longer wasting your precious time on someone that isn’t right for you. I know that this is going to hurt, fuck, it may be the worst pain that you’ve ever felt but, you’re going to flourish from this. Anything else is not an option. This is life, you fall down and maybe you get trodden on whilst you’re on the floor but then you get the fuck up. You can’t stay down forever. You can’t let this break you, that’s not an option you’ve ever taken and it certainly isn’t an option right now. I won’t let you.
So, you can cry. You can scream. You can throw things. You can hibernate for a week. You can do whatever it takes to get this shit storm of emotions out for, if something hurts your heart then you have to feel it. You have to feel it so you can let it go. Let it go and move on.
Breathe beautiful sun child, you’re going to be okay. Just breathe.