An Open Letter To The Guys Who Never Text Back

To all the guys who have ever started texting a girl, only to at some point to disappoint them by never texting them back ever again, I have message for you – you are the worst. In the honor of fairness (and a desire not to be called a sexiest in the comments of this piece) I will admit that this is certainly not just a male phenomenon. However, seeing that I have never experienced being ignored and then forgotten by a woman I was texting, this letter is aimed squarely at the XY chromosomes who do this. I would also like to add that I know plenty of great guys that have partaken in the magical disappearing act known as never texting a girl back, and they have assured me that there’s really nothing personal about it. I would like to respond to that sentiment with a sentiment I feel speaks for all women who have ever been put in this position by simply saying, fuck you.

There are many things that men do via text that tend to annoy me. There’s the request for naked pictures, the random sending of dick pics, the taking forever and a day to respond to a text (only to eventually respond with a one worded answers or a stupid tongue sticking out smiley emoji). Those things are irritating, yes, but none are more offensive then the straight up blow off of never responding to a text ever again. Simply put, the woman on the other side of your conversation does not deserve to be treated like that. We are not just a little gray bubble on your phone. In fact, we’re still there while you’ve moved on to the next shiny object. You’re not just rejecting us, you’re pretending we no longer exist simply because you have no more use for us – to me that’s the modern day definition of treating someone like trash.

“She was way to into me, I could sense she was about to get clingy.” That’s the truth of why most guys suddenly go MIA. Are you serious? She was way to into you; that’s the justifiable answer for never contacting her again? Do you know how crushing it is to have someone you were into just start ignoring you? Does it compute in your head that there is a more mature, and dare I say, more humane way of dealing with someone you find yourself no longer interested in? You’re already working in the least personal medium there ever was, would it kill you to just text, “hey, I’m not into this, I think you’re cool but it’s just not for me”? Has it registered to you that this girl (who undoubtedly did not throw her phone in disgust when you sent pictures of yourself groping your penis) has parents, and siblings, and people who love her and care about her and thus would not appreciate you treating her like a banana you forgot to throw out? How would you feel if some guy did that to your sister, or best friend, or daughter?

The saddest part about being the girl on the other side of a guy not texting you back, is the back and fourth convo we have with ourselves trying to justify your disappearance. “Maybe, he’s busy, maybe something happened, maybe he’s got Ebola and is in quarantine with that crazy nurse lady who went biking with her boyfriend,” are all excuses women use on the daily when it seems like the person they were interested in just vanished into thin air. There’s no closure, no last message, no explanation whatsoever and I’ll be honest with you; it hurts like hell. Luckily for you us women are strong and have learned to accept these situations for what they are – silent blessings of having dodged the bullet of ending up with a douche like you.

So, if you are one these guys that have inevitably started a flirty conversation with some girl you met at a bar, or on Tinder, or through some friend of a friend that you hooked up with totally drunk, I’m going to need you to rethink your strategy. I’m going to need you to fight the urge to be a less than spectacular human being by disappearing and never texting her back. Because karma is a bitch and you can’t delete her number.