I’ll admit that most females have a tendency to be heartbroken a majority of the time. Blame it on the feminine victim mentality or whatever mumbo jumbo you want to attribute it to, but the truth is while we may spend most of our time crying, only a small portion of those dudes deserve the emotional waterfall that bare their names. Here is some tough love advice on the types you should not waste more than a moments notice over, and one that you should.
1. The guy who drops off the face of the planet. Everything was going great, and then POOF! You never hear from him again until months later, like he’s Tom Hanks in Cast Away. Why – just why are you upset about losing this communicationphobe?! Not texting is one thing, but sudden radio silence for no good reason is a red flag in and of itself. Real men use their words, so IMO you dodged a bullet on this one.
2. The almost boyfriend. I’d say about 60% of female tears shed is over this one here. I get it, I honest to God get how being in a quasi-relationship with someone only to watch it fizzle and die is the most helpless situation one could find themselves in (especially if you were the one invested in said relationship). But, if you think about it, why cry tears for someone that couldn’t even give you a definition to your relationship? Tears are valuable things and obviously you were not valuable enough for him, so keep it dry.
3. The guy you met on Tinder. Honestly if you ever get to a point where you’re crying over a guy you met by swiping right you have bigger life choices to cry about then the fact that it didn’t work out. #JustSayin
4. The guy you knew was a bad idea. As Taylor Swift so wisely sings, “I knew you were trouble when you walked in,” but dammnit you did it anyway and now look where you are?! I would say it’s not your fault, but in all honesty thats a lie – you have no one to blame but yourself. You knew this would happen and yet you made a conscience decision to do it anyway, so don’t spend a week sulking and pouting about how all guys are douchebags – take those tears and turn them into reminders not to ever be that stupid again.
5. Any guy who feeds you a cliche excuse for not being together, i.e. “I’m not emotionally available”, or “You deserve someone better”. Want to know why you shouldn’t cry over this one? Because it’s his problem, not yours. If you’re bringing your A game, (employed, beautiful, self actualized, etc) then don’t bemoan the fact that it ended as any reflection on the fucking awesome person you are. Think about how stupid he’s going to feel when he realize what he’s lost. Then who’ll be crying?
6. The downgrade guy. We’ve all seen those couples where we see the girl then we see the guy and our brain goes into a “does not compute” robot voice while we try to explain the situation. Sometimes women will settle for guys who are just good, instead of great. I don’t know why this happens, I just know that it does. The worst part of these types of relationships is often times the girl will build up in her mind how great this guy was so that when it’s over she is delusion ally very, very sad. Newsflash: you’re too good for that guy. Your friends will tell you this, your family will pound it into your head and yet you will still spend 1 minute too many puffy eyed and sniffling to loss of this useless creature. Here’s an idea, don’t – just don’t.
There will however, be one type of guy who you can cry over. The one who was perfect not just on paper but in person too. The one who made you laugh the hardest at his silly jokes, or tugged you into their arms in the way that they do that shoots butterflies through your stomach. When you lose this one, feel free to sob uncontrollably — because this guy took care of you when you were sick, made sacrifices on your behalf, and was all around better than words can ever describe. You won’t know why you ever cried over anyone else, because the heartache you feel over losing this one pales in comparison.