4 Important Lessons ’27 Dresses’ Taught Me About Relationships 

When 27 Dresses was released in 2008, it instantly became one of my all-time favorite films, which is saying a lot since I usually roll my eyes at romantic comedies.

But this one hit differently because I saw a lot of myself in the movie’s protagonist. Just in case you’re not familiar with it, the story follows Jane Nichols, who is so in love with the idea of romance that she has been a bridesmaid 27 times. With all the responsibilities that come with the task, Jane has little time to focus on her own life. Jane is simply too polite to say no when the brides pile on ridiculous amounts of work. 

However, she never seems to mind since it gives her an excuse to avoid dealing with the very obvious crush she has on her boss, George. Jane’s life is thrown into chaos when the object of her affection falls for and proposes to her younger sister, Tess, who tasks her with planning the entire thing. Jane also realizes that the writer of her favorite commitments column thinks weddings are sort of pointless. I don’t think I’ve even attended 27 weddings, but here’s a list of things I learned from Jane. 

Constantly Volunteering Your Help Is Not Necessarily A Good Thing 

Within the first 10 minutes of the movie, Jane’s people-pleasing habits become evident. There’s even a montage of the character taking on bridesmaid duties at two weddings simultaneously. Jane taught me that being indispensable to everyone else can leave you feeling invisible in your own life. While she’s running around making sure everyone else’s big day is perfect, she never stops to ask herself what she truly wants. And that’s something I’ve been guilty of, too. 

It’s easy to convince yourself that being helpful is the same as being valued, but as Jane discovers, the people you bend over backwards for don’t always see the sacrifices you make. They might even start to assume you’re happy to do it. By the time you realize you’ve taken on too much, it’s often too late to undo the expectations you’ve set. Although it’s always good to help out, it should never be at the cost of your own happiness. 

Be Honest About Your Feelings 

Funnily enough, I am not referring to romantic feelings in this instance, though I am sure that’s important, too. However, there is a moment in the film where an extremely overwhelmed Jane takes a deep breath, plasters a smile on her face, and forges ahead with the task at hand – which is doing exactly what her sister wants. While this is probably considered a throw-away scene by most viewers, it really resonated with me because I’ve done the exact same thing more times than I can count. 

I smile even when I feel frustrated and convince myself that keeping the peace is more important than the thoughts rattling around my brain. But here’s the thing… Bottling up your feelings doesn’t make them disappear. It just means they’ll eventually spill over at the worst possible moment–like when Jane finally snapped at her sister’s wedding rehearsal dinner in the most ill-advised (yet brilliant) wedding toast. It’s the perfect example of what happens when you stay quiet for too long.

Speaking Up Doesn’t Make You Difficult 

Although Jane felt like she had completely blown up her life after her rehearsal dinner meltdown, nothing could have been further from the truth. The wedding was called off, and Jane quit her job, but her relationship with her sister was better for it. Tess told her that she appreciated everything her older sibling did for her when they were kids, but it was time to let go a little so that the balance in their relationship could be restored. 

Speaking up just makes you human. And if the people around you truly care, they will listen. For so long, Jane defined herself by what she could do for others. She was the reliable one, the fixer, the person who would drop everything to make someone else’s life easier. By finally choosing herself, Jane realized that there’s a fine line between kindness and self-sacrifice and that prioritizing your own needs does not take away from those around you. 

The Perfect Man Probably Doesn’t Exist 

Jane spent most of her days daydreaming about George, the super kind, outdoorsy, and animal-loving philanthropist who seemed perfect in every way. Sadly, George didn’t value Jane for the person she really was. At one point in the film, he even tells her that the thing he loves most about her is the fact that she never says no. Yikes! Talk about a major red flag. By contrast, Jane initially despised Kevin (the wedding hater I mentioned in paragraph two) for his cynical approach to love. 

However, Kevin turned out to be her biggest supporter. The lesson here is that perfect on paper doesn’t translate into being a perfect partner because real love isn’t about checking boxes. It’s about being seen for who you truly are. It’s easy to get caught up in an idealized version of love, but 27 Dresses proves that the right person isn’t the one who looks perfect from the outside. It’s the one who sees you, flaws and all, and chooses you anyway.