Being a bisexual is really no easy feat. Between trying to explain to people how you’re not bothered about genitalia to the difference between ‘straight’ and ‘gay’ sex, you barely get a chance to actually date and then eventually have the sex you’ve been going on about to all these Curious George’s. It’s a vicious cycle. So it’s time we talk about the B in LGBT. It’s not as if I just can’t decide on which team I want to play on. It’s that I just might not want to participate in sport at all. Sitting on the sidelines is as comfortable as remaining in the middle of the Kinsey Scale. So here are some delights and hindrances that come with most standard garden-variety bisexuals.
Pro: The sheer amount of CHOICE. It’s beautiful. It’s so beautiful. You’re in a club with guys and girls giving you the eye, and all you can do is “umm” and “aah” at the sight of them like being presented with a feast of all your favourite foods and not knowing which one to consume first.
Con: The sheer amount of choice. If you’re like me and you’re actually crap at decision making, you’ll spend your entire night trapped like a deer in headlights with nothing on your mind except making up elaborate escape plans in your head.
Pro: The attention. You’ll occasionally get treated like a mystical entity. A mystical entity that people want to explore, you’re a seasoned veteran for the bi-curious and it’s fun to be the one who can share gems of bisexy wisdom. (Yes I did just make that word up, and I liked it).
Con: The attention. One asshole gets one whiff of your bisexuality and immediately has his FFM threesome fantasies coming to life before his eyes. If you’re really unlucky his asshole mates will also find out and they’ll all be having the same teenage wet dream.
Pro: People appreciating your guts for coming out as bisexual. It’s fairly common knowledge among my people that we get a hard time for our sexual preferences, or lack of, I guess. So in some people’s eyes, you’re strong and confident for taking the luggage that comes with it.
Con: People not appreciating your bisexuality. They’ll claim you do it for attention. To get guys by alluring them to the fact you sleep with girls. Homosexuals have told me that I don’t really like women, and straight people have told me that I’m just too scared to come out as gay. Basically, everyone is more knowledgeable on who you want to sleep with than you.