5 Delusional Things That Keep You From Moving On After A Breakup

Not everyone breaks up because things are not working out. Sometimes in a relationship — especially a long distance relationship — one of the partners decides to give up and move on rather than work on the relationship. Now it is great if you are the quitter, but if you’re the dreamer in the relationship, then it can hit you pretty hard.
Now this can get pretty bad if the significant other moves on and then you find yourself stalking them and seeing their pictures on social media having the time of their life.
We definitely have some delusions/fears, which no one tells us about but definitely take over our thoughts, mind and life.

1. Pictures are DELUSIONAL

Delusion: Pictures are always and ALWAYS remember, super delusional.

Reality: If you think your ex looks super happy with his new interest, there is a 90% chance that it is not true. It is our fear of seeing our ex not missing us or us being rejected that completely takes over rational thinking and reality.

P.S. Aviators /Sunglasses always make people look way hotter than they are. Filters and Photoshop also make a vast difference.

2. Your ex will suddenly look super-hot and attractive

Delusions: Your ex is suddenly way skinnier/muscular and has probably got a swag new haircut and some swanky clothes.

Reality: People deal with breakups by going for makeovers and start focusing on their body and their looks. It is because when they were with you they were warm, fuzzy, and assured, but their self-confidence has gone for a toss. Now, they’re try to find new ways of making themselves feel better. Your fear of not finding a new love interest takes over the reality that they actually look pretty much the same as they did when they were with you.

3. You put your ex/love interest on a PEDESTAL

Delusion: She/he probably was the best thing that happened to you. You are worried to bits about how you will up this and find a hotter arm-candy for yourself .

Reality: You feel this way because you can’t have something you’ve had or taken for granted. Its human nature to want things and put this grandiose halo around people/things they can’t have. The most important thing after a breakup is not to put someone on a pedestal. Remember they were good/nice to you because you made them feel that way. If it is anyone who has to be on a pedestal, it is YOU!

4. Your ex never truly loved or cared for you as they have moved on

Delusion: You start feeling that this person probably never loved you or did not care enough as they have really hurt you and broken your heart. You find that they have moved on so quickly which shows that the relationship never really meant anything to them.

Reality: It takes any normal person about half the time they were in relationship to get over someone. So if you dated someone for 3 years they will not be over it before 1 and half years. This a universal rule, unless of course your relationship was pretty much dead at the end of 2 years and you dragged on for one year then technically he/she will take less than 6 months.

P.S. Rebound is REAL. If someone starts dating immediately after a breakup, that is because they aren’t strong enough to handle being lonely and aren’t comfortable with the idea of being with themselves. GOOD RIDDANCE! Such relationships fizz out as quickly as they have started.

5. Exes can be friends

Delusion: You will probably go through some good days and bad days after your breakup. In your good days you will want to be friends with your exes and will fondly think of them and the time you’ll spend together and in all likelihood wish them the best. But then the bad days will come and you will wonder why your ex hasn’t messaged, you will think of the way you broke up and all the bad memories will come rushing to you and you will find yourself struggling with the idea of seeing your ex with someone.

Reality: It is not possible to be friends. They were your best friend but you shared a physical relationship with them which makes your relationship with them way more complex than normal friendship. There are cases where exes are friends but they will tell you that either it was not a serious relationship or they were too young or the plain fact they still love each other very dearly.

Breakups are hard, but you will move on and find someone who will make your world go round again. You can either dwell in the past or break free and zoom into your future. There are many fishes in the sea, but you have to pick the right one. If it’s meant to be, it will be. You don’t need to worry about that. Destiny has its ways and we just have to embrace the cards that it hands out to us. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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