1. A lack of commitment. I’ve mentioned it before, but the unwillingness to be all in has created the “talking to” phenomenon. Are you talking to anyone? Of course, we talk to lots of people, but dating with an actual boyfriend/girlfriend label and loyalty is different. There’s no comfort or ability to fully trust a promise-less fling. Living in such a vague, foggy dating world puts everyone at risk to have their heartbroken. We search for true love and instead find false hope.
2. Blasting every negative moment of your relationship on social media. The angry Facebook status telling everyone about your breakup, followed by a lovey-dovey one revealing your reconciliation seven hours later is beyond unnecessary. After a while, everyone will hate the thought of your relationship being a thing that exists. This goes for any association you carry in life. If you publically displayed every qualm you’ve ever had with your mother, or your co-worker, or your sister, or your cat, people would assume it’s a toxic connection, which probably isn’t even the case. If love isn’t supposed to keep records – specifically the unpleasant ones, logging every mishap for friends and family to see is bad news and detrimental to your relationship. Suddenly everyone close to you isn’t a big fan of your partner, and that’s a result of your over-sharing.
3. All-knowing friends. These aren’t the same as people criticizing your relationship based on your social network vilification of your significant other – these are the baselessly judgmental know-it-alls who mistake overbearing parenting for friendship. When you’re surrounded by talking heads spewing what they believe to be sound, helpful advice, it’s easy to forget that ultimately, only you and the person you’re involved with fully understand what you share. Physically and verbally abusive relationships aren’t included, but every couple has their arguments, rough patches and disagreements. Just because a person wants their friend to be single or doesn’t care for the person they’re dating, does not mean sabotaging or being pessimistic about their relationship is acceptable. It can be pretty unfortunate when negative words have such an impact on influenceable minds, leading to the demise of a couple.
4. Expectations, too low or too high. When you anticipate the future to any extreme, the actual outcome will never be satisfying. Whether you expect real life to play out like a Nicholas Sparks novel or you think this new man/woman is going to do you wrong like an ex did, you’ve got to separate real-life, here-and-now human beings from your imagination or past experiences. If you expect perfection, you’ll be hugely disappointed by the unavoidable flaws of a person. If you expect the worst, you’ll find yourself unable to enjoy being treated well because it must be too good to be true. The person you’re with should be treated like an individual, opinions formed solely on their behavior towards you and you alone – no romantic comedy movies or exes.
5. The normality of giving up on someone. The will to fight for a person and the love you share is an endangered attribute, vastly disappearing from existence. We had another argument, let’s call it quits. We don’t share the same plans for the future so instead of finding a way that works for both of us, let’s head our separate ways. You like pepperoni? Oh, I prefer cheese pizza – adieu! Where is the strength? Where is the willingness to swallow pride, talk it out, or do whatever you can to fix things instead of tossing them aside for a new model? Relationship quitters are an unfortunate commonality these days, and that’s because people are increasingly willing to choose retaliation over resolution and leave over love.
Image – Shutterstock