Thought Catalog

The Person You Think About Before You Fall Asleep

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I suppose we don’t always think of one specific person. Sometimes it’s things, just, completely random stuff. I’ve gone through random phases where my pre-sleep thoughts include fresh baked cookies, paranormal stuff, what Rashida Jones is doing right that second, what to eat tomorrow, if I should put my dangling foot back on the bed before a monster grabs it and drags me straight to hell – you know, things of that nature. Anyway, I’ll get back on track.

A person must mean a great deal to you if they’ve managed to become the focal point of your thoughts as you lay down to call it a night. That’s a primetime position. In bed, we take those final moments before sleep to reflect on the day and, if we’re lucky enough not to be stressed, we think about important people. The individual who occupies that slot is up for grabs – until it’s not. At some point or another, a person you feel strongly for will takeover that special place, and there’s no one you’d rather be using your last bit of wakefulness on every night.

It can feel a little creepy because they’re probably oblivious to how you feel, but it’s beyond your control. That person doesn’t know that you thought about them multiple times throughout the day, and at one point even looked forward to resting your head on the pillow so you could be alone with those pleasant notions. Hey, if you’re lucky you might have a vivid dream in which the two of you are interacting – wouldn’t that be nice? Of course, there is another option here, but that one would involve putting yourself out there, expressing feelings and taking a risk. A huge, monumental risk.

Yes, telling this significant person how you feel would be scary. If you’ve got confidence to spare and no shame in your game, you’ll have no qualms with going for it. But if you fear the worst, you won’t say a word. I don’t know about you, but I have a tough time jumping when there’s no certainty I’m being caught. The worst would mean rejection, and if we know there’s no chance, there’d be nobody to think about. No hypotheticals, no daydreaming, no imagination active enough to entertain the idea of you and them together. The mystery and hope dies with all of your confidence.

Maybe for now you’ll play it safe, you know, find other ways to interact with them. Take a trip out of your way to the Starbucks she frequents. Ask him a question in class that you already know the answer to. Take advantage of subtle social network opportunities such as the “Like” and “Favorite” buttons. Post indirect statuses and hope they’ll take notice of ‘em, even though you know the chances of that happening are slimmer than slim. Still, this way is safe.

So tonight, who’ll be the last person you think of before dozing off? It’s worth considering that they’re on your mind for a reason. That time is reserved for the important and it’d be a shame to continue ignoring your feelings. Look, you can’t know for certain it’ll go picture-perfect if you take a risk and go for it, but you can be 100% sure that it’ll remain wishful thinking if you do nothing. It’s absolutely terrifying to tell people what we think of them, but the person you think about before you fall asleep, could end up being the person who thinks about you before they fall asleep. TC Mark

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