1. You have to use Urban Dictionary daily because you’re way out of touch and confused by the stuff your peers say. All of the lingo, acronyms and jive talk feel like a foreign language.
2. You use the phrase “jive talk.”
3. Paul Newman and Marilyn Monroe make your loins tingle more than a Clooney or J. Alba ever could.
4. You’ve paid money for swing lessons but wouldn’t let someone in the club teach you how to Dougie for free.
5. You’ve written something on a typewriter despite owning a fully functional laptop.
6. You actually appreciate modern technology. Sadly it’s so common for people alive in this era to take the amazing sh-t we have for granted. If you don’t curse your phone every time a call is dropped because you realize it’s remarkable that it can reach someone across the globe in the first place, that’s a sign that you’re grateful, which isn’t always a very 2012 thing to be.
7. You prefer watching the old, creepy Richard Dawson Family Feud over the new, racier Steve Harvey version.
8. You’re more comfortable at a Renaissance fair full of fake knights than a nightclub full of fake Renaissance men.
9. You buy cars strictly for performance and the fact that they’re the most popular means of transportation, disregarding aesthetics entirely. Because getting around via horses would actually be your ideal option.
10. When everyone else was playing Oregon Trail you were wishing you could live in it.
11. HD television makes you physically ill. If the way it moves and looks so real-life-y makes you feel dizzy, nauseous and annoyed — you’d probably be fine watching black and white TV screens – or none at all for that matter.
12. You hate that three pointers and highflying dunks have become the majority of fans’ favorite aspect of basketball.
13. You believe professional wrestling is entirely real. Hell, if you’re even skeptical about it you belong in the 1970s watching Ric Flair do convincing work.
14. Things like toothpaste and showers are cool but meh, you’d feel comfy taking sporadic baths and disregarding tooth care entirely.
15. A conversation with an elderly person describing their various experiences is more enjoyable than gossiping about an acquaintance’s disastrous relationship.
16. You perform hippie-esque activities. Adopt a peace and love ideology, jam out to psychedelic rock, ride the magic carpet to the ganja man, etc. (If you have to Google that last phrase, see Sign #1.)
17. You think a quarter should go a lot further buying candy than it currently does.
18. You have physical photo albums, not just Facebook ones.
19. Things like ‘Audrey Hepburn Trivia’ make your eyes light up because you know you will crush it.
20. At some point you’ve played The Temptations Radio on Pandora.
21. Adam West is your favorite Batman.
22. You prefer speaking in person or on the phone to sending impersonal text messages.
23. You’ve shared a non-holiday induced meal at the dinner table in the past year.
24. You call dinner, “supper.”
25. You greet sickness with natural, herbal remedies instead of NyQuil or a handful of manmade pills.
26. You think you’d be better suited for a different era on a regular basis. If you feel disconnected with the world or like you’d mesh well with another generation — that says something in itself. You know yourself best and if you think you’d flourish in another period, that’s the biggest sign of ‘em all.