PICTURE PERFECT BRUSHING OF TEETH. Naturally when one brushes their teeth, the bubbly foam and saliva accumulates, resulting in a frothy, toothpaste covered mouth. On television however, we constantly see people polishing their pearly whites without an ounce of Colgate residue. How in the name of Crest are they so efficient? Well it’s evident that on set they are more concerned with actors spitting out their lines than a mouthful of minty suds, so the fact that there isn’t any actual paste on their brush results in no mess. While that may look clean, it’s somewhat of a foolish concept since using no oral hygiene product would completely defeat the purpose.
CHEESY MUSIC DOESN’T PLAY DURING EMOTIONAL MOMENTS. Whether it’s a life lesson being learned, a couple of friends making up or any other type of tear jerking situation, TV has mastered the art of playing sappy, synthesized music in the background of emotional scenes. In reality, life lessons are typically learned over time from trial and error or dim-witted decisions and friend make ups often happen randomly or drunkenly in clubs/bars… Hey, at least there’s some type of music playing in that scenario, although it’s a lot more Black Eyed Peas and a lot less piano/ violin instrumentals.
YOU CAN’T GET IN SHAPE IN A 30 SECOND MONTAGE. Unfortunately for those of us in “the real world” when we are unsatisfied with our bodies, working out vigorously and dieting consistently over an extensive period of time are required to attain the physical attributes we are seeking. For those on TV and in movies, all it takes is a 30-60 second montage. Need to get in shape for some big event? Queue the motivational music, show a fifteen second shot of the person running, a ten second shot of them eating salad and another fifteen seconds of them lifting weights and BOOM! Suddenly, they’re ready to step into the ring and trade punches with Apollo Creed.
DINNER IS DIFFERENT. In modern days a lot of families eat dinner in different rooms at different times, whereas television kin tend to sit down at a table and talk about their day. That’s the other BIG difference. They talk and talk and TALK, but do very little eating. Sometimes it’s actually rather frustrating to watch these characters push their food around with their forks but fail to ever actually put it in their mouth — especially when the meal looks appetizing.
PEOPLE AND THEIR CELL PHONES. One of the more inaccurate things about television is the lack of phone use. People are consumed with texting, playing games, social networking and (every so often) talking on their cellular devices. For the sake of authenticity, television shows should have characters who aren’t busy spewing dialogue, utilizing their iPhones and Droids regularly.
ANNOYING NEIGHBORS. Steve Urkel (Family Matters), Kimmy Gibbler (Full House) and Ned Flanders (The Simpsons) — just to name a few of the many pesky television neighbors. Constantly we see these neighbors entering the home and being involved in the lives of the show’s main characters on a regular basis. Let’s get real, if the person next door came to your place, raided your refrigerator, broke your belongings and had a generally obnoxious presence, it would be the first and last time you’d have them over. Crazy, Winslows — nobody in real life has the patience to tolerate the clumsiness of a Steve Urkel.
SPLITTING UP IN SCARY SITUATIONS. Seriously, who really does this besides television/ movie characters? I won’t even read a Goosebumps book in a room by myself, much less go my separate way in a dark and/or suspicious setting.