4 Real Reasons It’s So Hard To Find A Long-Term Relationship In The Age Of Online Dating

Here’s the setup: You’re a bona fide career woman at the age of 23, in the early stages of making a name for yourself — you’re laser-focused with work and work (Rihanna knows, she can’t even put it plain English) that you rarely see your friends. Worst? You get so tired you barely have the energy to go out and meet other people anymore. Now, what do you do?

In a world fueled by technology, the idea of using the Internet to find a romantic connection with someone sounds too efficient… and easy.

You just use your social accounts, get on Skype or download Tinder then you’re all set. I do admire the positivity we have that the search looks like a piece of cake, but the fact that we’re more likely to get our hopes up and have our hearts broken is just too real. All of you must know what a struggle it is already to find a compatible match even when you’re actively going out and dating.

Especially if you can’t physically go out and meet the person. I’d definitely say that it can be exciting, thrilling or whatever other adrenaline-fueled word there is, but the chances of finding a long-term relationship are highly unlikely. Why?

Compatibility Is Based On Looks

Try Tinder. The app will show you a number of picture cards depending on your preference (which you can edit as well) and the general idea is for you to find matches based on the cards shown. If you like what you see and decided to explore the possibility of talking to each other, you swipe to the right. If you think the person’s a little too out of your league (with you being more superior), you swipe to the left. What triggered your action to either swipe right or left? It’s the photos (although there is a snippet-slash-bio of the person which most users don’t actually read).

You see, people may always tell us that it is the personality that counts and not the looks but it’s just not true. A person’s appearance meant more than we would ever admit. Sure, it is possible that the person you’ve matched with doesn’t look like that (based on the photos) — he could be more attractive in the flesh; therefore, it’s a no-brainer for you to go out with them for a few more dates. But what if he’s not so appealing? The chance of finding romance is already shot to hell. Actually, it didn’t even begin.

Your Dream Partner Is, In Fact, Only A Dream

Let’s be honest, everyone curates his or her online profiles. We wanted to appear as ideal as possible so we only share our good side: picture perfect selfies, ostentatious gadgets, sophisticated food adventures — you name it. This will lead you into wondering, “If this person has a privileged life, why is he single in the first place?” Then you caught Prince Charming way past his curfew and poof! (It became Koko Crunch! I’m kidding) Turns out, he was just a dream. You got blindsided with the idea of him, not the real him.

You’re Not On The Same Page

Everything is going smoothly. You talk to each other everyday about basically… anything. You’re mostly convinced that this could be it that you’ve finally found the romantic spark you’re looking for. Turns out, he’s been doing the same thing to 3 more girls. I mean what guy would settle for a normal relationship if he knows he can have the bachelor life he’d always dreamed of? The truth is all he wants was a casual set-up. But you? You want a real, monogamous relationship because you’ve always been the dating kind. Would you even dare settle for less than what you deserve? Didn’t think so.

The Thrill Of The Chase

We always run towards the ones we can never have: Fact. Why? I don’t know. It could be vanity or social validation. Make an observation. Most of your crushes are all in relationships. Them being committed to someone who is not you makes them look more appealing. We find it intriguing. We find it interesting. “Why is he with her and not me?” or “What does she have that I don’t?” You wanted to unfold that mystery for your own vanity. For your social stature. You crave the feeling of being wanted. You wanted attention. Then what happens when you finally have it? You reciprocate less. Why? Because it doesn’t challenge you anymore.

Some of us may not be able to find their happily-ever-after’s online, then there’s some who did. We can tell ourselves that it’s fate (if you’re traditional like that) or just simply because you deserve it. But if there is one thing I’m sure of, it’s this: Every wrong person we meet brings us closer to the right one.