1. Guys who have to be a certain way in front of “their boys.”
So first thing, anyone who calls it “their boys” is not someone you should date. But secondly, dating a guy who has a totally different personality around you than around his friends should be a huge red flag to anyone who isn’t dumb. It’s not that it’s just embarrassing for you, it’s embarrassing for him. If he is dating someone he can’t be himself with, or can’t show his friends, then that means he can’t choose partners. If you’re putting up with someone who doesn’t want to show affection around his male friends, what does that say about you?
Everyone wants someone who has a good job, something they enjoy and are passionate about and that earns them a decent living. But someone who is 100 percent into his work and doesn’t have time for any other kind of fulfillment (or, worse, considers it a distraction) is not fit to be in a relationship. Dating someone because he makes a lot of money, or has a lot of professional prestige, if that means that you always come second, is a dumb choice. He may buy you nice things, or look good on your arm (when he has time to come out), but putting in the time to be with someone in the everyday moments is a basic requirement of a relationship — not something that only happens on vacation time.
3. Guys without a job.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, getting seriously involved with someone who is always “looking” for a new job and isn’t serious about their career (or relies on you financially all the time) is foolish. Maybe he’s a starving artist, maybe he wants to start his own company, maybe he’s looking for the right position — but if you can’t see the proof of his hard work, and if he isn’t constantly trying to better himself, move along. You don’t want to be waiting in the unemployment line with him for the next three years, waiting for him to get it together.
4. Guys that their BFF dated.
If you date someone that your best friend used to date, that is your fault (unless it is something that she is totally, 100 percent okay with, because she is no longer invested in the situation at all). Guys are dumb (especially when they’re young) and will get in a relationship with anyone. Don’t be the girl who ruins the friendship for a relationship that probably won’t last.
5. Untreated addicts.
There is something so dangerous about addicts who are not getting help, and it’s that very dangerous nature that gets so many gullible girls interested — as though they’re going to be the one who finally “changes” him. Here’s a little secret: No one really changes anyone, and certainly not through a short term relationship based on superficial attraction. If someone is going to stop being an addict, it’s because of them, not you. You can’t love someone into being whole. Yes, it may be sexy that he loves his whiskey and doesn’t love rules, but it’s not the basis of a good relationship.
6. Guys that friends and family all dislike.
There’s a difference between one or two people “not getting it,” and all of the people you’re close to in life collectively saying that this guy is an asshole. There is nothing worse than the girl who stubbornly insists that “You don’t understand! We love each other! We’re meant to be!” when everyone is telling her that he’s not good for her. If your family, and your close friends, AND people you don’t even know that well are telling you that he’s bad for you — and if you continue to stay with him — it’s you that is making the dumb choice. And when it eventually fails (and it will), you will be to blame.