I’ll Admit I Was Wrong For Hurting You

I'll Admit I Was Wrong For Hurting You
Nik MacMillan

Swallowing my pride was hard, but knowing that I hurt you was even harder. I’m still learning how to love and accepting that it’s okay to be loved, but I am clearly miles away from being an expert in the field. Nobody ever told me it would be this hard even though I was told that pain is an inevitable part of love.

I never meant to hurt you and I never do. I apologize that my tendency to cause pain to those I care most about overshadowed what we had, what we created. It was never my intention to cause a tear in your heart, but I was selfish and I shouldn’t have pushed you away.

I know that my tongue can be as sharp as a knife and for that, I’m sorry for saying that I hated you. Even though I take full responsibility for the jagged edges in the relationship, I never expected that it would lead to the concluding chapter.

You weren’t wrong to agree that I was selfish because the truth is, I can be.

For the most part of our relationship, it slipped my mind that it was no longer about “me, me, me” yet you never forced me to think about things in a “you and I” light. I never quite appreciated you enough for never shoving things down my throat.

I also never meant to give you a reason to walk away, but I realize that the reason I am standing here alone tonight is because I told you not to stay. It never crossed my mind that at some point, when I told you to go away, you would do exactly just that.

It never occurred to me that you had enough because yes, I was too busy glorifying in my petty attitude while you went and saw the light of day. Looking back at things now, I admit that I grew complacent in knowing that you would always stick around no matter how many times I told you that I didn’t need you.

For once, I’ll admit that the tables have turned and I’ve boxed myself in this situation – a place that has me rethinking about what I had done after coming at you with guns blazing.

The honest to goodness truth is that I completely understand why you decided to turn around and forged onward without me; it’s a shame that I had assumed you would come back just like the last time and the one before that.

It’s more painful coming to terms with the fact that you’re too far ahead for me to ever catch up.

I may have told you that loving me wasn’t easy, but I see now that those words can’t be used to justify my actions. For what it’s worth, you were good for me, but I did hurt you and I can’t hold it against you to walk the other way this time. I’m sorry that I hurt you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Cantika Rustandi

Storyteller by nature and oversharing details is my forte.

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