28 People Reveal The Most Important Life Lessons They’ve Ever Learned From A Breakup

A man and a woman sit on a bench, looking out into the distance, probably about to break up
Unsplash / Charlie Foster

Reddit asked its users for the most important life lessons they’ve ever learned from a breakup, and they responded with their funniest, most serious, and most heartbreaking answers.


1. Good friends can be bad partners

Good friends can be bad partners.

Incompatibility is a real thing. No one has to be a douche for a relationship to fail.

— DefenestrationPraha


2. Sometimes you can do everything right and it still doensn’t work out

Sometimes you can do everything right and it still doesn’t work out.

— BillieRubenCamGirl


3. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm

Don’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.

If someone is making you miserable, don’t just take it in order to make them happier.

— IdPopACapinSancho


4. Your happiness shouldn’t rely on one person

It’s not healthy when your happiness revolves solely around another person.

— GeneralTuber


5. Never give them your clothes

Never give them your clothes because you will never see them again.

— nova7792


6. You don’t fully see the relationship till you’re removed from the situation

I didn’t realize that it was possible to be completely oblivious to how toxic someone is until you’re removed from the situation. My ex portrayed himself as the victim in every situation and it took me a long time to realize that my feelings were also valid. He convinced me that I was an evil person who caused every problem he ever had in his life. As a person who has always been mostly self confident and independent, I never could have predicted that I would let that happen.

— Amourdanielle


7. Timing is more important than love

That timing is often a more important factor than love itself. You can love someone with every part of your being, but sometimes that isn’t enough to trump the obstacles that bad timing presents. It’s one of the worst feelings in the world to realize you met the love of your life, only to have to walk away because there just isn’t a way to make it work

— radanite


8. You can make it on your own

I can make it on my own.

I suffer from major depression, and I was using my ex as a crutch for years. When the relationship ended I was terrified I wouldn’t be able to make it on my own. I found out that I could, I still stumble over minor issues, but I am learning.

— RazieLynn


9. Don’t beg someone to come back

Don’t ever beg them to come back. It’s not gonna be the same, you’re gonna break up again, and you’re gonna deeply cringe whenever you think about it in the future.

— mrs-pickard


10. Listen to your gut

If your gut tells you this person is lying and it doesn’t feel right then usually it isn’t.

Love makes you blind.

— ]sinnerthefifteenth


11. There’s nothing you can do to make someone love you again

That there’s absolutely nothing you can do to make someone love you again

— olives1234


12. Don’t put people on a pedestal

Don’t put people on a pedestal. I think a lot of people do this in their first relationship. Treat them as your equal; don’t act like they’re some holy figure that can do no wrong.

— donteatmysandwich


13. Relationships are work

That if someone isn’t willing to put in the same amount of time and effort in a relationship it won’t work out.

— Zear1337


14. Just because the relationship isn’t wrong doesn’t mean it’s right

Just because nothing was wrong, doesn’t mean everything was alright.

— KuyaMarjun


15. Two incomplete people don’t make a whole

Two incomplete ppl don’t make a whole. Get to know and love yourself before you get into a relationship

— ra1phw1ggums


16. Breakups are a good thing

Breakups are good. Every relationship either ends with you being happy together or breaking up. So if you breakup, it means you are now free to find the person you are meant to be happy with.

— KuyaMarjun


17. Don’t value people who don’t value you

Don’t ever place value on someone who doesn’t value you in return.

— NatureValleyBrothel


18. You have the right to end a relationship

You have a right to end a relationship. You also ​don’t need to act out in ways that “prove” you don’t deserve them, and you certainly don’t need their permission to walk away.

— doublestitch


19. Don’t rush into things

Don’t rush into things because it seems “perfect” and don’t compare new people to an ex.

I was in a 4 year relationship and never a “ladies man”. The first girl I talked to after the break up I fell HARD for, I realize now it was a little much. We ended it but great friends now.

— b1oconnor


20. Don’t be afraid to embarrass yourself

Don’t be scared to embarrass yourself. There are many thing worse than embarrassment specifically regret

— unstopablex5


21. Love isn’t always enough

That love isn’t always enough.

You can intensely love someone with all your heart, and still not be a good match for each other.

Of course nobody is the perfect match, but it is extremely important for people to learn when to just accept someone as not-compatible.

I still love my ex so much that I’d die even if it meant just giving her a 1% greater chance at life (if her life was on the line)…but we both know we aren’t meant to be together.

— notJustin43


22. Unfaithful people will always be unfaithful

If you ‘steal’ her from her previous BF, her next BF will ‘steal’ her from you.

a.k.a. Unfaithful people be unfaithful.

— BerskyN


23. Time heals

Sometimes only time can help you heal.

— PM_me_cute_penguins_


24. Don’t lower your standards

My standards MATTER. I didn’t make them up out of nowhere, and being single with self-respect is better than dating someone who is wrong for me because I’m lonely.

Also, sexual compatibility is uh… Important.

— inspirrational


25. Breakups don’t have to end badly

Just because the path forks doesn’t mean the bridge has to be burnt.

— NotSpicyEnough


26. Don’t get too invested until they are too

Don’t get too invested, unless you’re completely sure they feel as strongly about you.

— FluffInBoots


27. Find someone who can also be a friend

Find someone who’s not just your partner but your best friend too.

— deciim


28. Life goes on.

Life goes on.

It sucks at first but things tend to go upwards from there.

— azatarain TC mark

Callie Byrnes

Callie is a professional Thought Catalog blogger by day and an amateur Tumblr blogger by night.

This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather

Let go now

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