Hello, 911, I’d like to report a crime: people won’t stop making Pennywise pumpkins and I need you to cancel Halloween IMMEDIATELY.
People have basically been obsessing over It (and it’s weirdly sexy clown) since it came out in theaters last month. So I really shouldn’t be surprised that Pennywise The Fuckable Clown is taking over, but honestly, I just wish it would stop.
Do these people have incredible talent? Definitely!!! Do they need to stop right this instance? Yes, immediately!!!
I don’t mean to be a Halloween buzzkill, but can’t we go back to having cute lil Jack-O-Lanterns with misshapen eyes on our doorsteps? Now Pennywise is following me down every street I go and I CAN’T DEAL.
I guess this is better than the killer clowns of 2016, but also, can we just stop with clowns for the rest of the century??? Please and thanks.