14 Things All Girls Do When Guys Don’t Text Back

In reality, when you don’t text back (ASSHOLE!), a million questions run through our mind, some more desperate and unhinged than the others. It really depends on the context.

Here are 14 totally normal – these reactions ARE normal, right? – reactions girls have when dudes don’t text us back:

1. “If Tinkerbell can come back to life simply by clapping, goddamnit, I can make this man text me back simply by staring at my screen.”

2. “First, I’ll organize my closet, then my shoe closet, then my underwear drawer. If I have time, I’ll clean the kitchen and the bathroom, then…”

3. “Is he stuck in a f*cking ditch?”

4. *Turns off phone.* “Ain’t nobody got time for this.”

5. “He better be dead right now, because I know DAMN WELL his phone is always right in front of his face.”

6. *Calls and leaves a naaaasty voicemail.*

7. “He’s with another girl and they’re on their way to Vegas to get married by Elvis Presley and I’m going to be forever alone with 40 cats and OH GOD, I just know it.”

8. *Picks up phone and calls best friend.* “Hey, girl. Can you text him for me from a different phone number?”

9. “Maybe he didn’t get my text?” *re-sends text*

10. *Sends him a text … waits a few seconds … sends another text* “Oops! Sorry, that was for a friend.”

11. “He said goodnight without an emoji … Is he mad?” *Analyzes entire day*

12. *Logs onto Facebook to write passive-aggressive status.* “Some guys are just so inconsiderate. One day they’re into you and the next, they’re gone. Like, what do you want from us?”

13. *Logs onto Tinder.* “Eff this, I’m too hot for him anyway. NEXT.”

14. “That speech bubble is devil’s work, I tell you… wait, why did he stop typing!?”