Things To Consider Before You Leave Them

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The first and most important thing, which, if the answer to is “no,” the rest of this is null and void: do you love this person? This does not mean: lust, attraction, rebound, love for the sake of being in love, love based around the physical and exterior, etc. Even if you think you love someone, ask yourself why you love them. That’s the key. Your motives for being with someone can help you identify the kind of love you have for them.

If you are in a serious relationship with someone, let’s say serious enough that you have a child with them, you have to consider your life without them, and what that will look like. Not the romanticized version where you’re free to find new love and all things are jolly and wonderful. The version where this person is dating other people, where someone else may be parenting your child, where you may actually have to live the rest of your life without them. How do you feel about that? If it relieves you, go.

I have some harsh words for everyone that I know some people will very inherently disagree with, but I would like you to consider them anyway. There are few reasons, if any at all, that people feel the need to leave that aren’t a plain and simple lack of love. If someone is leaving because they haven’t “lived” yet, or they want to “experience life” before they settle down, or they have other “goals” to achieve, but they are not considering the experiences and life and goals they share with the so-called object of their affection, it’s not love. If someone is leaving because they are in an abusive relationship, or one that doesn’t make them feel good about themselves, there is a lack of love. I am not saying that love means you give up the things you want to experience. I’m saying love (and commitment to love) means you experience life with someone and through someone. Love is not difficult, it’s the other crap that gets in the way that is. You have to be able to identify the difference if you want to figure out who the right person for you is.

The bottom line: you should not feel the need to be “free.” Love is not binding. Love is, however, what you will eventually come or return to at the end of the day. Watch for where your heart continually returns, and do this before you are physically and literally away from someone, because at that point, it could be too late. TC Mark

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