7 Types Of Unofficial Relationships You Have In Your 20s

If you’re in your 20s, the thought of a serious relationship might make you throw up a little in your mouth. You’ve decided to use these young years of your life to be single and make the most fun of it. Settling down is something you want to do later (or not), but right now you want to be young, free, and do your thang. Then again, you might be in a serious relationship and couldn’t be happier. You had your glory days being single, but those days are over because you found someone worthy of a relationship, and maybe someone you love. You might be thinking about tying the knot, or even already married. Whatever you are, you’re happy settling down with this one person and wouldn’t trade your relationship status for the carefree single life.

And then there are the rest of us, caught in that awkward gray area. We have something going on, but are not quite sure what it is or where it’s going. Some might call it a type of unofficial relationship. Lucky for us, there are numerous types of these ridiculous situations that fall under the unofficial relationship category.

1. The Mediocre Booty Call:

It’s the mid-week/late-Saturday-night booty call you can always depend on. You and your booty-call don’t have any real romantic chemistry and a relationship is definitely not in the cards for you two. You simply find one another mediocre (not saying that you are). The two of you have this unspoken mutual agreement to continue hooking up till you find someone better, someone relationship-worthy. In your eyes (and in mine), it’s a pretty kosher situation. It’s one person, you know them pretty well by now, and you both have the same agenda. I mean, after all, you have needs damn it!

2. The Fool-Around Friend:

A good friend always has your back, right? And sometimes that means putting away the “friend card” for the night, and sucking face after a few stiff drinks. Yes, this is a dangerous game the two of you play, but you’re both determined to not let things get weird and ruin your friendship. Some pals can pull it off. But in most cases, no matter how many times you pinky-promise each other that it won’t be weird afterwards- shit does get weird. Inevitably weird.

3. The Ex You Haven’t Axed:

You broke up, but you just can’t seem to break away from them. Maybe you’ll work it out eventually (don’t hold your breath). Most likely, you should move on.

4. The Mysterious Texter/Sexter:

The one you met that night, haven’t seen since, but text everyday. This person has major potential to be something romantically serious in the future. You both have a lot in common and same sense of humor. They seem to be smart, motivated, caring, and all the other valuable traits you look for in a significant other. However, they always seem to be busy when you ask them to hang out and prefer texting to talking on the phone. Maybe someday you’ll go on a real people date… Or maybe, this person is just a sketch ball wasting your time. You haven’t decided yet. Hopefully, you just did.

5. The Hopeless Hookup:

It started as a no-strings-attached, but now you’re ready to get them strings strung! In the beginning you made it clear it would be an uncomplicated, casual, fun deal. You would have the freedom to see other people. There would be no jealousy, no silly stupid fights that couples have, and no hurt feelings or broken hearts. It was working perfectly. And then you realize you like this person. A lot. So much that you might want them all to yourself. You don’t talk to them about your feelings. You don’t want to weird them out and scare them away. So, you’ll wait for them to come to their senses. Or maybe it might be time to start looking for someone who wants their strings attached.

6. The Coworker Crush:

You’re crushing hard on your coworker. There’s some obvious chemistry going on that cubicles can’t hide. The highlight of your day is meeting up by the water cooler to giggle at your precious inside jokes or gossip about others in the office because you trust them enough to do so. We’ve all heard horror stories about the coworkers that date, and then things don’t work out. It’s always awkward bumping into an ex on the street or at a coffee shop, and then you can only imagine bumping into them everyday at work. Terrifying. Just an absolute fucking nightmare. This might be the reason you’ve been cautious and hesitant to pursue your coworker crush outside the office. Despite the possibility that things between the two of you could have a painfully awkward ending, there’s also the possibility you two could work out. They might be worth the risk. Who knows, maybe you will be the next Jim and Pam (If you don’t know this reference, you’re punishment is to Google it and become a fan like the rest of us).

7. The One with Potential (but you’re being a pussy):

You’ve been seeing someone unofficially for some time now. You’ve been on some unofficial dates, partook in some steamy make-out sessions, and maybe you both already did the dirty. You communicate via text, IM, phone, Facebook throughout the day and get all giddy when you see a new message from them. Things are going so incredibly well, which may be the reason you’ve been avoiding the “Ya Wanna Make This Official?” talk. You fear they will think you’re rushing things and ultimately scare them away because it’s too much pressure. Please don’t take too much offense to this, but you’re being a pussy. If you’re looking to finally escape these types of unofficial relationships, this “scary” talk is most likely your only ticket out. Maybe you’re waiting for them to initiate, but then again, they may have the same fears, and just might be a bigger pussy than you. If an official relationship is what you want, the talk will also reveal whether or not this person is on the same page. The worst that can happen is that they aren’t on the same page, but at least you now have the option to move on to the next one. 

Read our classic ebook How to Be a 20-Something.