1. My wife, when she goes to sleep, has really shallow breathing, so I put a tissue on her face to make sure there’s a visual cue, you know, that she’s breathing. Sometimes, I forget to pull the tissue off and she wakes up really confused.
– Eli, 34
2. My wife farts in her sleep. She woke up once and just flat out denied that she farted and went back to sleep. She says doesn’t remember doing this.
– Harold, 41
3. I know my boyfriend puts his toothbrush in the medicine cabinet because he’s really scared of poop particles.
– Samantha, 24
4. She wears my t-shirts to bed because they’re loose and covers up her love handles.
– Tommy, 23
5. My dumbass boyfriend deleted his Facebook and uses mine. He looked up a bunch of girls using my name and I know because of the search history on Facebook. Dumb. Ass.
– Victoria, 22
6. He talks to our dog and sings to him when I’m not in the room. I think it’s really cute. He’s totally embarrassed he does it.
– Ethan, 24
7. He’s a big time drooler, but he denies it every time I accuse him. What the hell!
– Michelle, 26
8. He pokes me with his boner, like grabs me and pokes me with it and doesn’t do anything. I think it’s hilarious.
– Robin, 30
9. She does this weird thing when she’s anxious. She’ll rub her index finger and thumb together and she doesn’t know she’s doing it. Really weird.
– Brett, 25
10. I know he watches Dane Cook videos at work.
– Faye, 29
11. Try to have a conversation with my fiancée when she’s dozing off. She’ll give you some hilarious answers and she’ll have no recollection of it.
– Tom, 27
12. She turns on the faucet when she goes to poop.
– Aaron, 20
13. I know he puts the cat on me while I’m sleeping. The cat then moves to my face. Fuck you Troy and fuck your stupid cat.
– Nicole, 26
14. My wife really, really, really loves Daria. She has fake glasses like hers and that green coat she always wears. She’ll never admit she wears it around the house sometimes when I’m not there. She doesn’t know I’m going to suggest we go as Daria and Tom for Halloween.
– Justin, 24
15. We’re going to be married in 8 months, and right now, we’re on day 5 of our juice cleanse. Guess what I found in his jacket pocket? Potato chips. That’s right dickhead, I know.
– Adrianna, 28
