When your relationship gets stale it can be tricky to know if you’re at risk of breaking up. While every relationship goes through ups and downs, there are certain signs that show you if your guy or gal is ready to hit the road.
If you see these signs in your relationship, don’t panic. Instead, proceed with caution, focus on reconnecting and work on the areas of your relationship that need a little bit of extra love and care. After all, ignorance isn’t ALWAYS bliss.
1. They avoid you.
Breakups are tough, and some people find that actually telling their partner that they want to call it quits is too hard. They choose the path of avoidance rather than being direct and honest about their feelings.
If your partner is suddenly canceling all your plans or changing the conversation whenever a serious topic comes up, they may want out but don’t know how to tell you. If you notice this happening, it’s time to bring this behavior to their attention.
2. They’ve stopped talking about a future with you.
You and your partner used to spend hours planning your lives together. From marriage and kids, to moving in together and worldly vacations, there was no shortage of future plans. Suddenly these talks are no longer, and your partner swiftly changes the subject.
It’s true that the future can be scary, but if your partner is suddenly shunning these talks, then it may be time to ask why.
3. They’ve stopped making an effort.
Relationships require effort from both partners. Whether this means planning date nights or making up after an argument, putting effort into a relationship is how people show they care for each other.
If your partner has stopped trying, it may be a sign that they’re thinking about leaving. Missing anniversaries or blowing off other special occasions could be their way of letting you know they’re ready to call it quits.
4. They put their friends first.
Similar to avoiding you, if your partner cancels your plans or starts putting their friends first then it could be a sign that their priorities are elsewhere. While it’s important for couples to have space, spending every moment of their free time with others is definitely a red flag.
To find out where your partner stands, ask to join them sometime. If an invite never comes then it may be time to consider the reality of the situation.
5. You’re no longer intimate with each other.
If the intimacy in your relationship has been replaced with friendly banter or playful high fives you should take it as a clear sign that something is wrong. In order for a relationship to last it’s important to keep the spark alive. If your partner is letting your flame slowly burn out it could be what they’re waiting for.
6. They’re being secretive.
We’ve all seen it in the movies — the partner who’s having a secret affair or hiding feelings from their partner. You know how the story goes. If you notice your guy or gal sneakily checking their phone, quickly logging out of Facebook, going out with unheard of friends or not sharing their plans, then it’s time to consider the bigger picture.
7. They threaten to leave you.
Playful banter is one thing, but if your partner threatens to leave you or jokes about breaking up then it could be because it’s on their mind. Putting unfair stipulations on your relationship or handling disagreements with threats is a sign that your partner probably isn’t fully invested.
If you feel like you’re slowly being pushed out of the relationship it could be your partner’s way of leaving you.
8. They pick fights with you.
Every couple argues from time to time, but if small debates are turning into blow outs then there could be a problem. Sure it may just be a phase or an outlet for some bigger issue, but if there is no logical reason for your fights then it could be that your partner is creating the drama for another reason: to leave you.
9. They cut back their communication.
You call and they don’t answer. You text and it goes unreplied. If your partner is cutting back your daily communication then you may want to wonder why. When a person is unsure of a relationship, or is considering calling it quits, it’s common to slowly reduce the amount of contact they have with their partner.
10. You feel unappreciated.
If you don’t remember the last time you heard a simple “Thank you” or “You’re the best” then you may want to question if your partner appreciates you. When a person is halfway out the door it’s normal for them to justify their actions by denying how great their partner actually is. In other words, to feel better about their self they’ll stop recognizing your efforts and love.
This post originally appeared at YourTango.