One of the things I have learned in medical school is that pain is the body’s way of telling you that there is an underlying damage where it is felt. It is a defense mechanism against near destruction and it will be part of the healing process. This thought also applies to life and love in general.
Your pain will always be different from others. What you can tolerate can be torture for them. It never guarantees reciprocity. They won’t feel your pain and you won’t feel theirs. Your pain may or may not matter whether you choose to hide it or not. They have their own reasons for their pain.
If you can truly love someone despite the pain, then love should be easy. No matter how difficult the person you have chosen to love is, they will make you a better person. It will hurt but you will grow through that pain. You will learn what works for you and what destroys you. You will deal with it and you will get better at dealing with it.
When someone you are so devoted to walks out of your life, they are not worth the trouble of going through so much pain. Don’t pay attention to the pain because what you focus on grows. It has a way of showing you how much you love someone but it may also be telling you that someone is not right for you and you have to let them go. It will hurt either way but you have to know the difference. More importantly, know your worth.
Let go of what devalues you. If they can’t accept you at your worst, they will never appreciate you even at your best. There’s a reason for those feelings. Some may seem pointless yet excruciating but that is part of the healing process and learning process. What used to be an important part of you has been taken away and if you don’t let go, your wounds won’t heal properly. Holding on becomes a waste of time and energy. The sooner you let go, the sooner you heal.
When someone you love is going through any kind of pain or a healing process, be patient. It may take some time and it may be painful for you too. It will be difficult for you to watch them go through all that but give them space and freedom to express and to feel. Allow them to grow and support what makes them happy. Choose to love them every step of the way.
Pain doesn’t destroy you. It points you to what really matters and to what needs to be changed or be gone. You destroy yourself or that part of you that hurts hoping to kill the pain but it worsens the already bad situation. You won’t get used to the pain but you will realize that there are more important things to work on than to dwell on it. You have to understand that only you can feel that pain and only you can control your emotions. Don’t hold back. Let it guide you but not lead you.
Don’t let pain change you. Don’t let it control you. It is temporary. Love, on the other hand, is a constant decision. There will be pain but there’s an unexplainable peace in knowing that your love can grow and only be made stronger. That’s why you have to focus on loving them and on loving yourself.
It is okay to cry but don’t give up because it hurts. Love is worth more than the pain you will go through. Please remember that everyone is worth loving but only some are worth the kind of pain that makes all your countless effort to love worth it.
Love makes life easier and meaningful but pain slows it down and holds you back. You can easily love someone when you’re happy but when shit hits the fan, someone who is worth the pain will make you forget why it hurts and remember why you love them.
To know what it’s like to truly love, find someone worth the pain and love them. Don’t, even for a split second, stop loving them.