10 Lessons That Will Make Dating Easier

The Notebook
The Notebook

1. Timing is everything

Some may agree or disagree with this statement. I strongly believe timing is everything. You may feel that you’ve met the perfect person, but are confused why that person isn’t able to commit to something a little bit more serious. You might be ready for the relationship, but something may be going on in their life that means they’re not.

2. Joining a dating website is normal

There’s still a huge stigma towards dating websites, but I always recommend a dating website to all my single friends who are looking to date. It’s not for everyone, but it’s an option we now have. Sometimes online dating can actually be really stressful because you end up going on plenty of dates, and at times you may feel like you’re on an interview telling the same things about yourself to different people. You may or may not find your future partner through this process, but overall, it can still be a fun way to meet people. You can also learn more about yourself and what you want and don’t want in a person.

3. Make first dates casual

Everyone has different ways to go about first dates. I feel like casual dates are the best way to go, such as grabbing a cup of coffee or something quick to eat like a slice of pizza. You actually get to engage in a conversation with someone rather than waiting for meals at a fancy restaurant, and chances are that you don’t end up enjoying your fancy meal because you weren’t feeling the date. Good food deserves more respect than bad date aftertaste.

4. Dating is trial and error

It’s normal for people to flirt with more than one person at a time, and even go on dates with different people in the same week. We live in a generation where people are meeting each other through social media, work, friends/family, bars, school — you name it! Sometimes you meet a lot of people that you end up going on dates with more than one person at a time, to figure out what it is that you’re looking for. There’s nothing wrong with it; but you do need to be honest with the other person and do not lead that person on if there’s no connection there.

5. There is dating, and then there is clinging

Even though you are extremely interested in someone, don’t be that person who constantly texts and calls that person if you get nothing in return or get a text back 4 days later. Let’s be real, we live in a society where everyone uses his or her cell phone daily. If he or she is interested, they will take time out of their busy schedule to send a quick text message back or respond back to your phone call.

6. You need to take time to date yourself as well

If you just got out of a relationship, don’t jump into another one too quickly just to get over someone. Sometimes breakups feel like as if someone died, your heart sinks into your stomach, and you feel lonely. This is normal, but take this alone time to reflect upon yourself, and what you want out of life and out of your next relationship. It’s important for self-discovery. Pick up a hobby that you’ve been waiting to do, move to a new city, make new friends, and become more independent.

7. Do not lose your independence

I tend to see this in many relationships. It’s great that you’ve found someone you truly and genuinely enjoy your company with, but in the excitement, don’t fuse yourself to their hip and lose your independence. Personally, it’s more attractive when you still engage in your hobbies, do you, and balance a relationship out with your own life.

8. Don’t try to change anyone

Everyone has a perfect someone in mind, but let’s be real: no human made on this earth is perfect. There might be some traits that you don’t like about the person you’re dating. To an extent, it’s important to express your concerns to the other person, but high chances are if they haven’t changed in all these years, they probably won’t change for you unless deep down, they agree with you. They need to feel like they need to change that quality about themselves; you cannot expect to fix someone. A person is not a beat-up car in need of a paint job. You have to love that person as is, dents and flaws and all.

9. Do not put a timeline on love

Whether you are 25 and single, or 30 and single, you are not old. Do not settle for love just because everyone else you know is in a serious relationship, engaged, or married. Patience is a virtue. I’ve seen so many marriages crumble because the two people rushed into it. You don’t have to be that person. It’s better to be with someone you fully connect with, rather than settling for someone because you felt like you reached a certain age. As long as you’re putting an effort of meeting new people, you are a step closer to finding a potential partner.

10. You need to love yourself first

Love who you are. Love your body. Love what you do. Love your life. When you start loving all these aspects of your life, everything will start falling into place. I truly believe you need to love yourself first before someone else is able to give you the full scope of the love that you deserve, too. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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