12 Things Feminists Say, Which Are Completely Stupid

"Only women are afraid at night."

Updated 11 years ago, June 25, 2014

1. “I need feminism because like, I want justice not that equality bullshit.”

2. “I need feminism because c’mon, I want to have like nude protest where we all get naked and show off our goodies in order to stop those nasty men from sexualizing those women who I look better then in those magazines.”

3. “I need feminism because like, I want constant gratification for being a female. Who run the world? Girls rock? We just want to have fun.”

4. “I need feminism because we need more sexy blond female CEO’s but not more female miners and other jobs in those kinds of fields. They’re not glamorous enough. Women shouldn’t have to get on their knees and work hard unless they want to get backstage at a Weeknd concert.”

5. “I need feminism because I want the government to stay the FUCK out of MY bed and MY womb. I want the government to pay for my birth control and abortions though. They owe us. Women are practically enslaved in Western society.

6. “I need feminism because #KillAllMen is like just a joke but #KillAllWomen is super misogynistic and would be the end of the my world.”

7. “I need feminism because I hate when pervy and creepy men make broad generalizations about women (A.K.A goddesses) but it is OK when us feminist do it. #YesAllWomen is a genralztion but it’s a dope one you know?”

8. “I need feminism because stupid men are more likely to be attacked on the street but fuck them. They need to stop acting like pussies and vulvas. Only women are afraid at night. They should buy a gun if they’re as afraid as us women. We shouldn’t have to buy guns though. We should just teach pedo males not to attack us women.”

9. “I need feminism because I love all women….except those who aren’t feminist. I hate those bitches.”

10. “I need feminism because being called a slut is the worst thing in the world. We should like censor all speech and tell pedo men what to say and how to say it.”

11. “I need feminism because I’m a super victim. All women are super victims.”

12. “I need feminism because consent is really really really sexy. Don’t get me wrong, if I’m like super horny and I rip my SO’s clothes off without asking first it’s not rape. I’m a woman for crying out loud. Men are like really really super strong so they can defend themselves if it was real rape.”