It’s easy to think that going back to your ex will make things easier. It’s easy to make him out to be better than he was and romanticize your relationship to make it seem better than it was because now you’re lonely and living without the person you invested so much time into.
It’s easy to think that things will be better this time around because he promised you it will be but going back won’t make it any better.
Sure, there will be the initial rush, the “OMG I MISSED THIS” with the butterflies and the giddy feeling. There will be the comfort and the giddy feeling of “oh, this could really work this time.” Then after the first couple weeks or so when that wears off you’ll be back to where you were. You’ll be in the same spot, feeling irritated over the same things and having the same doubts in your chest. They aren’t just going to go away.
It’s easy to talk someone up when you miss them. It’s easy to pretend they’ll be the answer to your problems. It’s easy to make them out to be this wonderful person because when you love and care about someone it’s hard to just let go. It just doesn’t work that way.
You convince yourself that you need them and that happiness can’t be found without them, even though happiness isn’t really a word you’d use to describe your time with them. But when it’s late and you’re lonely it’s easy to miss them by your side and that’s where the fascination comes in.
Go back if you want, if you need closure, if you can’t resist but know it won’t change anything. You’re both the same people because a few days, or weeks or even a couple months isn’t enough time apart to really change or grow or learn. It’s not enough time to discover who you are without them. It’s not enough time to get over them enough to learn to fall back in love with each other for real.
It’s a temporary fix, a temporary way to feel better about being alone and lonely. It’s going back to a place you’re comfortable in because we all crave comfort but the band-aid isn’t going to stick forever. Eventually, it will fall off and you’ll have to do something new to stop the bleeding.
Going back is easy because you’re convinced it will be different and then when it’s not you’ll feel broken all over again. You’ll have to teach yourself to be alone again.
Going back won’t do you any good and it certainly won’t make it any better.
Stay strong because leaving the second time won’t be any easier and it will only break you down again.