Don’t run back in a moment of weakness when you start to feel lonely as the sun slips beneath the horizon. Don’t call when you’ve had one too many drinks on a Friday night. Don’t throw away all the progress you’ve made on your own when as soon as your phone lights up from their message.
Don’t look for healing in the person who broke you.
Don’t go back because you’re struggling being alone and you miss them. It’s going to be hard, it’s going to take strength and you will feel heart ache, but things will get better on your own. I know they are hard to resist, I know you just want to give in and go back to them but you shouldn’t because going back allows them the power to break your heart all over again.
Maybe they promised you things would be different thing time, maybe they swore they would be different this time, but a person can’t change over night. No one can change over night. There is still a good chance they will break you again, maybe not immediately, but in a few months. Actions have a way of repeating themselves.
Going back after they mess up will only give them more power because they know that all it takes is a little begging and you’ll come back. They know they’ve got you now, they know they can do it again in the future and that you’ll still be there. They can apologize until they’re blue in the face, but that doesn’t mean they ever actually mean it, especially if they continue to do it after they say they’re sorry.
I know you want to believe things will be better if you give them another chance. Why wouldn’t you? You want to believe them because you trust them and you know they wouldn’t lie to you, not again. But it is possible to get your heart broken by the same person multiple times and the second time doesn’t get any easier.
You want so desperately to stop being strong and just go back because you love them and it’s easier to give into what you really want than it is to continue to fight the urge while your heart continues to break. But you are not weak for loving them, not even close. You are not weak for wanting to give in or hoping that they changed because you always want to believe in the people you love, you want them to mean what they say.
You only think about the good days, about how things used to be when you were happy but you tend to forget about the bad times, the times that you swore you’d never let them make you feel this way again. But you did, not because you’re weak but because you’re in love and love makes you do stupid things.
You have to stop thinking about all those good times you think you’re missing and instead focus on all the bad and negativity you no longer have in your life. Think about how good that’s going to feel, maybe not right now because the pain is still too deep, but in the future when you’re laughing with your friends and he isn’t the first thought in your mind when you wake up in the morning.
You owe it to yourself not to go back to the person who hurt you, who foolishly broke your heart time and time again because as much as you want them to change, they won’t. You can’t help a person who doesn’t want to help themselves.
I know it’s hard, I know you miss them, I can see it in your face, I hear it in your voice every time you find an excuse to bring up their name, but you’re better without them. You’re better on your own because you don’t want someone like that in your life, you don’t want someone who hurts you and breaks you down.
It will take time, but eventually it won’t consume you and eventually you will be okay without them because the person who broke you can’t heal you.