1. He tries to control what you do. He is not your mom or dad or boss, therefore he shouldn’t be telling you what you’re allowed to do. Relationships aren’t supposed to be restricting – they are supposed to enhance your life, not make it a living hell.
2. He tells you who you’re ‘allowed’ to hang out with. Again, he’s not your parents and he shouldn’t be hand picking your friends based on the people he likes. You are your own person and you should be perfectly capable of picking your own friends without him deciding for you.
3. He fucks up and then you somehow end up apologizing and feeling bad. He is conniving enough that he can somehow always twist situations and turn his actions into your fault, even though he is clearly in the wrong and you did nothing. You don’t have time for that. When he fucks up, it’s his fuck up, he should not make you feel bad for him being a piece of shit. Don’t stand for that.
4. He’s super shady. You never really know what he’s doing when he isn’t with you. He gives you limited information, he doesn’t always tell you where he is, he ignores you when he’s away from you. You never feel right about it because something always feels off, probably because he’s a sneaky piece of shit.
5. He doesn’t let you do things without him. He gets super pissed if you want to go out with your friends without him because he’s very insecure. He wants you on a leash at all times and you just allow him to have that control over you. That piece of shit can’t keep you locked in the house forever – go live your life.
6. He always makes you feel guilty. For some reason you never feel good about yourself when you’re with him. He degrades you, he’s mean to you and he’s just an all around awful person. He takes his anger out on you and you always end up feeling bad. You try to walk on egg shells without them breaking because you know he’d get mad about it because he’s a piece of shit.
7. He acts like a totally different person when he’s around you and his friends at the same time. He starts to throw the blame on you for things, like that one night he didn’t go out it was because you ‘didn’t let him’ when that wasn’t the case at all. He changes his behavior completely to seem ‘cool’ and ‘fun’ and impress his friends when you rarely ever see that side of him at home. He throws out little lies and twists in stories to make his life seem more interesting, and you can tell it’s all for show.
8. He lies to you. He makes up stupid lies because he’s stupid. He tells you things are done when they aren’t, he lies about plans, he lies about little details and it doesn’t make sense why.
9. He always puts you on the back burner. He just bought himself a $500 toy, but it’s your birthday and he can’t fork over some money to buy you anything? Not saying he needs to spend a lot of money on you, but he should at least do something, especially when he’s always taking care of himself.
10. You feel like he interrogates you. *If* he lets you go out it’s always like a 20 question quiz on where you’re going, who you’re going with, when you’re coming home and a promise to text him back constantly or he will freak out and double and triple text you because god forbid you speak to another human that isn’t him when he’s not around. *cough psycho cough*
11. He has double standards. So you can’t go out without him, but he can go out without you and it’s fine. He makes the rules in the relationship and he’s allowed to do so much while you’re very limited because he has to be in control of you in order to feel good about himself. He needs you to worship him and obey him because he’s an insecure piece of shit.
12. He puts his hands on you or calls you names. This is not okay. There is no excuse for abuse, physical or mental or emotional abuse. You can’t defend him, you can’t listen to him when he tells you it won’t happen again and you can’t keep letting him have power over you. He is going to keep hurting you because it makes him feel strong when he’s actually a very, very weak ‘man’ with a ton of underlying insecurities he’s too much of a pussy to deal with so he finds it okay to take his problems out on you. It’s not okay, it’s never okay, anyone who truly loves you will never abuse you – no exceptions.
13. You find yourself defending him in front of your friends and family. People start to wonder why you’re never out, why you ask permission, why you’re not happy like you used to be and you lie for him. You say you don’t want to go out, you say you are happy, you say you love him but deep down you know this isn’t right, but you suppress those emotions and ignore them. You pretend everything is okay and this is normal when it’s absolutely not.
14. He’s just a piece of shit. And you need to walk away because he won’t change, he won’t get better and he won’t turn into the person you’re hoping he will. He will always be the same manipulative, controlling, insecure piece of shit and you deserve better than him, and he knows that so prove him right.