1. Complain about being single. Because it’s the one day of the year where you truly feel single AF, even if you claim to actually like being single. If you feel good the rest of the 364 days of the year, well here’s the one day you feel like shit for being single because Instagram is extra rubbing it in your face.
2. Order themselves heart shaped pizza. Heart shaped pizzas are the ~in~ thing on Valentine’s Day. Everyone loves pizza so we might as well consume one that’s in the shape of a heart while we’re at it.
3. Talk about how they think Valentine’s Day is stupid and not even a real holiday. Valentine’s Day get SO much hate, I’m going to say it’s for a good reason (but I’m also single so what do I know???). But really, it’s not even a real holiday, just a Hallmark excuse for people to spend money and prove their love for their significant other.
4. Make their guy friends hang out with them so they don’t feel so alone. Because every girl loves the attention from guys, even if it’s just from your single guy friends. Why?? I’m not sure, but who cares! (Probably because we’re all attention whores, shhh.) Somehow it makes your life not feel so terribly lonely when you’ve got some male company.
5. Eat disgusting amounts of chocolate. What you do best when you’re sad? Oh that’s right, eat lots of chocolate because it’s comforting and if you’re single and sad on Valentine’s Day the calories don’t count, right? Right!
6. Think about all their exes. You wonder what they’re doing for Valentine’s Day and if they’ve got a new bae or if they’re just as single and lonely as you are. You think about texting them, but think it’s probably not a good idea because you’ll def regret it later.
7. Get drunk with their other single friends. What’s better than being lonely and sad on a day of love? Getting drunk and being sad with your other single friends! Alcohol always makes everything better, it’s proven!!! (JK JK JK)
8. Text their exes when they’re drunk. Drunk you has no self-control, so of course you text your ex when you’re lonely and drunk on Valentine’s Day!! But, like, just to see what they’re doing (and force them to tell you they miss you and need you back).
9. Cry. Oh, the inevitable ~water works~ that come flowing when you’re lonely, drunk and your ex was a dick or just didn’t even text you back. So then you just spend the whole night pondering why guys are such dicks in a puddle of your own tears.
10. Listen to depressing Pandora stations. Because you just want to feel ~understood~ and induce the pain of the loneliness you’re feeling because no one understands better than Secondhand Serenade.
11. Watch chick flicks, like way too many chick flicks. And you wonder how the girl always ends up with the guy. How he fell for her when they were just ~friends with benefits~ and how she always ends up being the exception to the rule. It’s just not fair TBH, but you’re just going to keep watching until you figure it out, or until someone knocks on your door to confess their everlasting love for you.
12. Go to the bar and try to hit on single men. Why not just take your drunk, crying asses to the bar? At least all the dudes will (more than likely) be single there so you don’t have to worry about anything or anyone being off limits because the taken dudes will be out spoiling their girlfriends on this shitty holiday.