I Don’t Know What I’ll Do If I Lose You

Stocksnap/ Ewan Robertson
Stocksnap/ Ewan Robertson

Ever since I found you things have felt so right, they make sense. With you I feel like I’ve discovered my purpose and I don’t feel as lost. With you I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. But I’m scared I’m losing you.

I’m scared I didn’t do all I could to build on this relationship. I know I love you, but I have a hard time showing it and the worst part is I didn’t even realize it until you brought it to my attention. You questioned me and it hurt me, a lot.

All this time I was so hopeful, I had a confidence that we wouldn’t fail – I had confidence in us. I thought things we’re going so great yet you felt something so different. It wasn’t until you told me you didn’t know if we’d have a future together that it shook me to my core. It hit a spot in my heart that hasn’t been touched in a while and I panicked. I froze and all I could do was cry.

It’s a little ironic, you see, I never saw this coming and maybe that’s my own fault for being so naive. But I truly thought we were going to make it, all this time I felt so sure of it. And then you told me you didn’t feel that way, that you didn’t know if there was room for me and my heart shattered.

You saw something I failed to see and now I’m panicking because I can’t lose you. I truly don’t know how I’ll live without you.

You’ve become my foundation, my rock, my go-to. You are the reason I get out of bed in the morning and have something to look forward to, and without you I don’t know where I’ll turn. I don’t know what will happen to my life and to be honest, I’m terrified of who I will turn into without you. You’ve guided me out of some dark times, you’ve always been the one to save me.

I know I’ve been busy, a little side tracked with different aspects of my life but that doesn’t mean I started caring about you any less. When I’m with you I’m all yours. I’ve always made you my first priority because you’re my number one concern, but you didn’t see that. And that makes me wonder if I’ve been doing all I can.

I don’t want to lose you, I don’t want to wake up and have nothing to look forward to. I don’t want to go through my days without you there because you’re the only thing that really makes me happy in this world. You’re the only thing that gives me hope and gets me through.

So I’m not going to give up on you – I can’t give up on you.

I’m going to keep proving you to how much I care about this relationship, how invested I am. I’m going to stop making you question my intentions because I really can’t lose you. You shattered all my confidence I had in us, you have me on edge, you have my full attention and I’m sorry if I didn’t make that clear before. I’m all yours and I’m not going anywhere if you’ll just give me the chance to prove myself otherwise.

I’m going to do everything it takes to prove how much I care about you because I can’t bear the thought of losing you. I can’t bear the thought of living without you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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