One more time right off the bat — he doesn’t deserve you. He really, really doesn’t.
You can’t keep loving someone with your whole heart who doesn’t give you the time of day. You can’t keep beating yourself up over how you could be better to him because you are giving him all you’ve got and he just can’t see it. You can’t keep wearing yourself out trying to be his idea of perfect because you’re already enough just the way you are.
You’re already giving all you have to this man and he can’t see it because he’s not the one for you.
I know you desperately want to make it work. You want him to love you the way he used to but he only makes you feel that way a rare few occasions these days. He makes you empty promises that he immediately turns his back on. He makes you feel alone in the relationship and like you’re not enough.
But you are. You are more than enough. You are giving him your whole heart, you are doing everything you can and you are trying your hardest to save your relationship. But you can’t save it all on your own, darling.
The problem isn’t with you. It’s with him. He knows you deserve more and he’s scared you’ll find it so he keeps you hanging on by being the one who cares less because the one who cares less always has the most control. He is manipulating you. He is doing what he can to make you stay, to beg for his attention, to make you feel like you need him.
It’s completely fucked up, and you deserve way better than that.
You deserve someone who knows what they have when they have you. Someone who doesn’t only treat you wonderfully during the “honeymoon phase” because their love for you doesn’t die out after those first few months. You deserve someone who doesn’t want to get complacent, someone who wants to keep loving you like you’re loving them, someone who wants to work through the hard times with you and be there through everything.
You deserve someone who gives a shit, we all deserve someone who gives a shit and not only when it’s convenient for them, but all the time. Especially when it’s inconvenient because that’s when they should rely on you the most.
You aren’t doing anything wrong, you aren’t the reason your relationship is in turmoil. It’s him. It’s him not being able to get his shit together, it’s him being afraid you’ll leave, it’s him having the power over you to make you stay.
Sweet girl, you deserve someone better than that. You deserve someone who treats you like you’re the best thing in their life. You deserve someone who makes you want to be a better person, not someone who cripples you with their mind games. You deserve someone who makes you look forward to tomorrow, not to walking on eggshells trying not to start a fight. You deserve someone who loves you for you, not who criticizes you and questions your motives.
You deserve someone better than him and you already knew that.
Stop letting him have the power over you and your relationship. Put your foot down, stand up for yourself and leave. You deserve more than him, just dump his ass already. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.