Thought Catalog

This Year Catch Flights, Not Feelings

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@jessicastein
@jessicastein

This year let go of the idea of becoming somebody’s before becoming somebody. Let go of the idea of needing a relationship and the idea of someone else completing you. You are already whole, you don’t need another half. You are strong, resilient, smart and capable of so much if you just trust yourself you will see.

This year spend it exploring the earth and focusing on you.

Focus on the things that make you happy, focus on turning your dreams into a reality.

If you just got out a relationship, don’t jump back in another one with hopes that you will avoid the pain and emptiness inside your chest. I know how difficult it is to be alone after being with someone you loved for so long, but things will get better. I promise you they will. The faint memory of them might never fade away, but you will find happiness again on your own without them.

Don’t jump into the arms of someone new looking to find completion and healing.

Instead travel – make the world your healer.

You don’t have to go across the earth to a foreign destination – you can get in your car and drive to another state; you can even visit cool places in your own state. Pack a bag and some snacks and hit the road. Drive and get lost using nothing but road signs to guide you if you don’t have a set destination in mind. Let the towns and cities you come across make you feel like you belong. Eat at cute little family owned restaurants. Go to the local bar and drink beer with the man who owns it. Spark up conversation in the bookstores you find yourself in. Talk to the homeless man on the corner. Let the people around you influence you and show you how much more is out there in the world.

If you feel confident enough to jump on a plane to a foreign destination, do it! Purchase a one-way ticket to anywhere you’ve ever dreamed of. Let the nerves run through your spine that’s carrying your backpack to live out of. Be giddy and excited. Talk to people on the plane that you’re sitting next to and ask them where they’re from. Get off the plane and feel the relief once you get through immigration and can walk out into the new city.

Stare out the window on your trip to your accommodation and tell yourself you can do this. The first day and night will probably be the hardest, but you can do it. Don’t let the fear of the unknown overcome you. Just think of all the amazing adventures and people you will meet.

Soak up as much of the culture as you can. Talk to the locals and hear their stories. Ask them about their background and their childhood growing up in the area. Struggle with language barriers. Talk to the other travelers you pass by and ask them what made them buy their ticket. Eat the most delicious street food. See the incredible views that will completely take your breath away. Let the world shape you and let it change you.

Realize just how much is out in the world besides the one who broke your heart. Realize how much bigger and less limiting the world is without them.

This year catch flights, not feelings. Don’t think the only source of your happiness can come in the shape of another human because that couldn’t be further of the truth. You need other people, but not as much as you need yourself. You are important and you matter, so start putting yourself first. Stop jumping in the arms of men, stop looking for someone to give you attention, as nice as it might feel from time to time you don’t need it.

Attention might temporarily heal you, but traveling will make you feel better for the rest of your life.

Traveling will test you. There will be really hard days, but I can promise you it will be worth it, even if you struggle along the way.

Traveling touches part of the heart no man or woman could ever reach.

This year put yourself first and fall in love with your life, you owe that to yourself. TC mark

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