Thought Catalog

I Challenge You To Be Alone

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Jenny Woods
Jenny Woods

It’s 2017 and we still act like being single is a death sentence. We act like because we’re alone in our twenties or thirties that means we are going to die alone. It means we will never get our shot at forever or finding out soulmate.

That’s not true, none of that is true.

Life doesn’t leave a message at your doorstep the day you turn 30 and say “hey, hate to break it to you but since you reached 30 and you’re still single your time of finding love has expired.”

Love has no limits or deadlines; you can fall in love over and over again at any point in your life.

Many people often jump from relationship to relationship because they fear being alone. They convince themselves it’s better to have someone who is half-there or half-invested in them than being alone. They tell themselves in their heads that this is worth it; that this is what love is. They truly believe that it’s better to say they have another half than it is to be truly alone.

I don’t buy that.

I challenge you to be alone. I challenge you to be completely alone because once you’re alone your relationships will bloom more beautifully than you could ever imagine.

I fell in love young and I got my heart broke young. I thought I needed to be with someone after that, I thought I would only be happy if I found someone to love me because I didn’t love myself. I pushed for relationships with guys who lied to me, guys who mistreated me and played me. But I thought that was better than being alone because I didn’t know how to be alone, nor did I want to try because being alone can be scary. I wanted to attention, I wanted to feel special and feel wanted.

But it didn’t help.

Then I decided enough was enough. I decided I didn’t want to be that girl. I decided it was time to respect myself and I challenged myself to be alone.

I challenged myself not to drunk text boys in my phone, I challenged myself to just move on and let them go when they didn’t respond anymore. It made me stronger and it made me form a better relationship with myself.

We focus so much time on other people, we try to get them to like us and we try to impress them. We say things we don’t believe in to get them to laugh or to agree with us. We do things we aren’t proud of. We become different people even. We spend so much time getting to know the people around us that we forget to know ourselves.

I challenge you to be alone; I challenge you to dig deep and find out who you are.

I challenge you to look at the face in the mirror and love yourself as much as you love other people because those other people you love and admire so much – they have flaws and bad habits and problems, too.

Even if you don’t think they do.

Stop pouring all your heart and energy into people who don’t want it, into people who don’t respect you and treat you well. Pour that heart and energy into yourself.

Eat alone. Sleep alone. Read alone. Workout alone. Be alone. Learn yourself. Enjoy your company. Take yourself out on dates. Learn how to do things alone and eventually you will start to like yourself.

Don’t text people who don’t respond. Don’t call someone because you’re lonely, instead be lonely! Deal with the loneliness and find a way within yourself to fill the gap in your heart.

Being alone will teach you just how strong you are.

So stop looking for the next person to compliment you and instead start complimenting yourself. Realize you are a strong, capable, independent person. Realize it’s better to be alone than with a person who doesn’t inspire you to be better, and that it’s certainly better to be alone than in a relationship that leaves you begging for their attention.

I challenge you to be alone because being alone is the best thing I ever did for myself. It wasn’t always easy, but it made me a hell of a lot stronger and that made it worth it. It made me believe in myself when no one else did.

Once you like who you are alone everything else will fall into place. You will be confident in the person you are and that is the most attractive quality a person can possess. You will realize that just because you want a person, doesn’t mean you need them.

You will become the best version of yourself and that’s whats truly important. You won’t change who you are anymore depending on who you’re around. You can walk away from friendships that are draining. You can enjoy going to get coffee alone. You can say no to people who aren’t keeping your best intentions at heart. You can be vulnerable because you know who you are. It will allow you to be able to form better relationships with everyone in your life, including yourself.

I challenge you to be alone, truly alone, because it can be the best thing you’ll ever do for yourself. Learn who you are, then spread that love you’ve found within to the rest of the world. TC mark

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