I know this is probably hard for you to admit to yourself because you don’t want to believe you’re sacrificing absolute happiness to be with someone who doesn’t deserve you.
He makes you happy, I get that, but he also doesn’t treat you like you deserve. He degrades you and makes you feel worthless, especially when he turns something he did into your fault.
I know you love him with all your heart and he loves you, too. The only difference is all the love in his heart still isn’t enough.
He is giving you all the love he has, but you can still do better. All of his love still isn’t enough for you and that doesn’t make you needy, you simply love hard and you need someone who loves harder.
You need someone who you’re more compatible with, someone with the same positive outlook on life and a heart full of love to share.
There will be someone who compliments you instead of telling you that you look different. There will be someone who tells you they love you over and over again, instead of someone just repeating it on the phone back to you out of habit. There will be someone who won’t make you feel worthless, but instead pick you up when you’re feeling down. There will be someone who can complete you in all the empty ways you feel right now with him.
I know you don’t want to accept that or think about it. I know you’re happy sometimes, but with him you’ll never be more than just happy sometimes.
He can’t light up your world like you need, he can’t send insane bolts down your spine and he doesn’t stir up butterflies in your chest – with him you always know what to expect. You know what you’re going to get and no matter how many fights or conversations you have about changing and improving he won’t change and he won’t improve because he knows he has you. He knows no matter how much he messes up that you’ll still be there because you have a good heart and you care so much about people, including him, even when he doesn’t deserve it.
I know deep down when you’re upset that you know this isn’t as good as it gets. I know you know you could do better, but you’re scared to leave. You’re scared to start over because starting completely over and leaving a life and person you’re accustomed to is a scary thing.
But you’re a smart woman and either way I know you will find happiness whether it’s with him or not, you will find it within yourself.
All I ask is you please do one thing if you stay – don’t listen to him when he says those hurtful words to you when you’re fighting. Don’t feel like you aren’t deserving and that you are worthless because you are worth it. You are more than worth it and that feeling you get deep down, that feeling is right.
I’ll never tell you how to live your life, but I think you know deep down that you’re better than him and I hate to see you settling for a mediocre life instead of a life that is filled with pure bliss and happiness.
No relationship is perfect, but you can be more than just happy sometimes and that’s what you deserve.
You deserve someone to sweep you off your feet instead of you always working to please someone who is never truly happy.