I Saw A Picture Of You Today And I Felt Nothing


I woke up this morning and checked my phone like I usually do, I scroll through, see what I missed and get on with my day.

But today I came across a picture of you.

I had to do a double take, I scrolled past then had to go back just to see if it was actually your face, and it was.

It was your face with the same scruffy beard I used to love, except this time I didn’t miss it. This time I felt nothing. I haven’t seen a picture of you in quite sometime, but today I looked at it and I felt nothing.

I didn’t go back again to look at it and see if you looked happy. I didn’t check out your outfit and see if I could tell what kind of person you’ve become. I didn’t take a screen shot of it and send it to all my friends. I said nothing, I felt nothing and I just kept scrolling. I just went on with my day like I’ve done for all these years without you.

It’s a weird feeling, to not look at your face and get a knot in my stomach. Who knows though, maybe if I ran into you on the street I’d still get nervous. Maybe I’d look at your eyes and feel something or maybe I’d look in your eyes and not even recognize who you are anymore.

But if there’s one thing I’m sure of it’s that I saw your picture come across my phone and felt nothing. You were simply just another face; you didn’t ruin my day or change my emotions. You no longer had any affect on me and that was an amazing feeling to feel.

That’s when you know it’s over, that’s when you know you’ve made it on your own. When you can look back and not feel a thing, when you can be happy that he’s with someone else and you can move forward on your own, with complete happiness and freedom.

It doesn’t happen overnight, it’s taken years, but years later my body has finally rid you and my mind no longer missed you.

I no longer remember what your touch feels like, but I still remember your favorite movie. I no longer remember your favorite phrase, but I still remember your favorite song. I no longer remember what your lips felt like on mine, but I still remember your favorite place to get lost and forget the world.

Unless all those things have changed as well, I guess that’s the weird part of moving on.

I remember who you used to be when you loved me, but I have no idea who you are now. I don’t know if you have new favorites, I don’t know where you’re living or what your current job is. I don’t know if you’re single or you’ve got a fiancé. I don’t know if you finally switched to Apple or if you’re happy now.

I don’t know anything about you anymore because it’s not my place to care. You were my whole world and now I can look at you and feel nothing. Healing is a strange thing, but I’ve finally moved on from you forever.

Now I can look at your picture and not feel a thing.

Now I can finally say I’m over you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Becca Martin

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