I can’t wait to find someone who is going to look past all the bullshit I sell to the world about being strong, because as strong as I am I also have moments of weakness.
Someone is going to know when I’m lying to protect myself and break through the walls I’ve so strongly built to protect my heart.
Someone is going to look me in the eyes and not walk away, even if I question them because they know they are loving a girl who’s been broken in the past.
There will be a connection that is out of this world, it will feel like everything feels good and everything feels right and that will worry me because I’m not used to thinks being so great and working out. Usually if it’s too good to be true, it is, but not with you, not this time.
Things won’t blow up, things won’t end and you won’t disappear because you’re in this for the long haul.
When we fight you won’t walk away and if you do it won’t be long before you turn back and we sort through the issue together because if we’re being honest no relationship is perfect and everyone fights when their hearts on the line.
But as reserved and guarded as I might have been all this time before I’ll let you into my world because you’ve let me into yours.
We’ll talk about why things are the way they are. We’ll discuss why I’m so guarded and why your heart is still so full. We’ll talk about our scars and bruises and you won’t flinch when I touch them. We’ll explore each other and say things we never imagined admitting to another human out loud.
You won’t let the brokenness inside my chest hold me back anymore; you’re going to love me through it because I’ll love you through your damage, too.
You’re going to break me down and make me realize it’s okay to love again, you’re going to climb the walls I’ve set so high and you’re going to tear them down. You’re going to make me feel things I didn’t know I was capable of feeling because I’ve been so careful all this time.
You’ll teach me it doesn’t matter if I’m not perfect, you’ll love every imperfection about me and you won’t try to change or control me. You’ll simply accept me for who I am and I’ll no longer have to worry about being good enough for you.
You’ll be the person who I pour my heart out too, the one who makes me feel loved despite all the walls I’ve built to keep people out, despite the damage I’ve suffered and scars I still wear.
You’ll be the person who I can laugh in front of and cry in front of, you’ll be the person who makes me feel everything while simultaneously making me feel like I’ve found the place where I belong, I’ll finally feel like I’ve found home.
You’ll be the one person I never even knew I was looking for, you’ll be the one who helps me plant some roots because where ever you are is where I want to be.